by Harlan Jacobsen copyright 1994©

Most people coming out of a divorce have a run-down, drained emotional battery. They are unable to run the accessories of life because of a run-down battery.

1. Can’t handle or overcome anything difficult without being demolished.

2. Mental computer does dumb things and makes bad decisions because it’s not getting the "juice" it needs to operate normally.

3. Become depressed when their battery is flat down.

4. Can’t get their motor started and become immobilized.

5. Smile and joy accessories won’t even light up.

6. Give up - fuse occasionally blows out due to low voltage.

7. Stay out of traffic because you can’t keep up or handle it.

If you will look at the battery charging list, you will discover you have stopped doing many of the things that charge your battery and now have a large drain from wet wires and short circuits that run down your battery. You need to dry out and stop the draining and do more to charge your battery up to where life really works again. Just because your battery is run down does not mean it cannot be recharged.

A quick solution to get your accessories (your life) to where it all works again brightly is to "fall in love" with someone new. This is like using a jumper battery cable and by hooking up to their battery everything runs bright again, and it all changes in short order. You have to worry, however, that they may grow tired of the big drain you put on their battery and unhook you. Since you have not been charging your battery on your own, you will be flatter than ever.

When your battery is really down , if you have developed friends, you will be able to plug in with your friends’ battery chargers for a short time. Sort of like stopping at gas stations that take your credit card and charging up your battery a little. (Only a few accept your card.) Touching in with these stations (friends) from time to time when needed will help keep your battery working when your own generator is not covering all the emotionally draining shorts.

Wet wires and shorts run your battery down.

Booze and Drugs (temporary spark but it is a further drain)

Negative friends

Guilt

Rehashing yesterday and what might have been

Self-doubts

Anxiety

Worry

Demand for Justice

Loneliness attacks

Fears

Anger

Hostilities

You must run your motor. Sitting in the garage runs it down.

Physical Activity - Free, can do alone.

1. Long walks.

2. Tennis

3. Bicycling

4. Any other exertion, even scrubbing the floors.

Interacting With People

1. Classes

2. Clubs, organizations

3. Churches

4. Political groups

5. Dances

6. Parties

7. Any place people congregate

Rewarding Work

1. Career accomplishments

2. Exciting

3. Recognition

4. Accomplishment

Advancing Education

1. Progressing, growing

2. Accomplishment

3. Going somewhere good

Having Fun

1. Anticipation

2. Unstructured

3. Dizzying

4. Humor - Laughs

Interacting With Close Friends

(Can be done daily)

1. Phone calls

2. Go to coffee together

3. Stop and visit a short time

4. Share some activity

5. Assisting when needed

6. Obtaining assistance

7. Sharing pain

8. Sharing joy

Dating Relationships

1. Significant people

2. Do new things

3. Touching

4. Acceptance

1. Self-hypnosis

2. Transcendental meditation