Single Scene Newsletter 9-27-02 issue 72 Copyright Single Scene 2002 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * Tips That Make Dating Easier, Part II * Advice from Aunt Janet: Define your terms. * October dating and mingling ideas Meet singles! Learn lots about singles groups and activities! Attend the 21st Annual Singles Showcase Saturday, October 19, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Central United Methodist Church, 1875 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. $5 admission. Info: 602-258-1207. (Stop by the Single Scene booth and say "Hi!") ------------------------------------------------ TIPS THAT MAKE DATING EASIER: Phone etiquette for dating, Part II by Janet Jacobsen The telephone question, despite its complications, can be a tool for making dating easier, and even efficient. Where are some key pointers: 1. When a man gets a woman's number (or a woman gets a man's, for that matter), the longer you put off calling, the harder it becomes to call. Will she even remember you? If at all possible, call within three or four days. You don't have to make a date; just call to say "Hi." 2. One of the stresses in first dates is that frequently the two people know very little about each other. A lot of this stress can be reduced by a couple of "phone dates" beforehand, just informal chats to get a little better acquainted. Emails aren't really a substitute; the information you get from tone of voice, pauses, etc. tells you way more than you realize. Ok to email, but get a phone conversation in there too. 3. Important telephone manners: Identify yourself immediately. "Guess who this is?" puts the other person on the defensive and is NOT going to win you any points. Ask right away if they have time to talk now or if it would be better to call another time; follow their suggestion. If the conversation goes on more than 15 minutes or so, ask if you are keeping them. Make it easy for them to get off the phone; you don't want them to dread your future calls. 4. Lastly, when you make a date you should always EXCHANGE numbers, not just one person gets the other's number. First, if the person hesitates to give you their number, or only wants to give you can office number, use caution. This may be a sign they are married or living with a someone. If you hardly know each other, though, many folks today prefer to only exchange emails early on. This does complicate things when you are supposed to meet for a date, because the second reason you should exchange numbers is that something could happen: you have to work late, your hair turns green, your kid is sick -- and you need to let them know you will be late or have to break the date. Last, but not least, what if THEY are late? Very late? There you are all dressed up and waiting. Call. If they forgot, or have been hospitalized, or whatever, you can still go out and enjoy yourself. ------------------------------- Know someone who's struggling to adjust to dating? Harlan's FREE 8-day e-mail course on dating again trains you in the basic skills! Just send a blank e-mail to datingagai-@getresponse.com. Be sure to send it from the e-mail address where you want to receive the course. You'll get a helpful lesson each day -- absolutely free! ----------------------------------------------- ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET: Define your terms! This friend of mine keeps a very tidy household, so it always amazed me that the "desktop" on his computer screen was such a clutter. I would suggest he should clean it up; I would even OFFER to clean it up, but he always said no. One day I was helping him with a computer project and we couldn't find some things he was SURE were on the desktop, so he finally let me "clean" it. When I started make folders and putting things in them, he was amazed, then thrilled, and offered all sorts of suggestions. He's a relatively new convert to the joys of computing, and had never heard of making folders. He thought "cleaning up" meant deleting -- throwing away -- and he NEEDED the stuff on his desktop. We got a laugh out of this one, but sometimes these misunderstandings have more serious consequences. People use the same words to define their relationship, for instance, but mean very different things by them. He might use the word "girlfriend" only when he is very serious about the person, but she refers to all her male friends as "boyfriends." Possible trouble ahead -- someone is going to feel misled and get their feelings hurt. It's hard to defend against such problems -- after all, if we realized that there was a misunderstanding, there wouldn't be a misunderstanding! About all we can do, when such differences emerge, is keep a calm temper and a sense of humor and remember that a misunderstanding is not the same as a deception. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< Next SMOCA Night is Oct. 17: These after-hours events at the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art are hugely popular mingling opportunities, with food, cocktails, music, and emerging local talent. $8 in advance, $10 at the door. For tickets: 480-994-ARTS. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ------------------------------------- If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< October dating & mingling ideas Tues., Oct. 1: Most Tuesdays there's a backgammon tournament at 7 pm at the George and Dragon pub, 4240 N. Central in Phoenix. Tourney entry is $10; bring your own board. 602-265-1992. Wed., Oct. 2: First Wednesday, Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center,7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture. $8 adm., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., Oct. 3: Every Thurs., bring your lunch to the library for talks about the diverse cultures in Phoenix. Noon-1. Free. First floor Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phoenix. Sponsored by the Arizona Humanities Council. Info 602-262-4636. Fri., Oct. 4 (thru 6th), Tempe Beach Park, Mill Ave. & Rio Salado Parkway. Oktoberfest. Entertainment and activities free. German food. 480-491-FEST. Sat., Oct. 5 (thru 27): Annual Pumpkin Festival, in Dewey, Arizona (near Prescott). Pick-it-yourself, hayrides. 9-4. 928-632-7272. Sun., Oct. 6: Art in Bloom Family Day, Desert Botanical Garden, 1201 N. Galvin Parkway, Phoenix. Artisti exhibits, projects to do, free admission. (Swingtips concert noon to 2, admission $7.50.) 480-941-1225. Mon., Oct. 7: First Monday, ArtSalons: Lectures and discussions with guest artists. 7-9 pm, Burton Barr Central Library, Pulliam Auditorium, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636. Tues., Oct. 8: Word-buffs meet every Tuesday night 6 p.m. for Scrabble, at the Hampton Inn, just south of Shea on Scottsdale Rd. Wed., Oct. 9: Wednesdays (except first Wed.), Royal Scottish Country Dancing, 7 pm, Scottsdale Senior Center, Civic Center & 2nd Ave. Free. 480-834-5662. Newcomers welcome. Thurs., Oct. 10 (thru 27th): Arizona State Fair, Fairgrounds, 19th Ave. & McDowell, Phoenix. One of the great entertainment bargains of the year, particularly the headline entertainment included in the admission, such as Lonestar, B-52s, and Sawyer Brown. Adm. $8.50; seniors $4. (Parking extra.) 602-268-FAIR. Fri., Oct. 11: Every Fri., Friday night drag racing, Firebird International Raceway, 20000 S. Maricopa Rd., Chandler. 6 p.m. $10. 602-268-0200. Sat. Oct. 12: Octoberfish, free fishing event (no license required) 7:30 to 11:30 a.m., Encanto Park, Roadrunner Park, Crotez Park, and Cesar Chavez Park, all in Phoenix. Az. Game & Fish will lend fishing rods to registered participants (first come, first served). 602-261-8082. Sun., Oct. 13 (also 12th): McCormick-Stillman Railroad ParkRailfair, 7301 E. Indian Bend, Scottsdale. Free. 10-5. Exhibits, tours, entertainment. 480-312-2312. Mon., Oct. 14: Mondays are Movie Night at Mickey's Hangover. The bar features free popcorn and a movie at 9 p.m. Mondays. 4310 N. Brown, Scottsdale. 480-425-0111. Tues., Oct. 15: Every Tues., East Coast Swing lessons, 9 pm-12:30 am, Bash on Ash, 230 W. Fifth St., Tempe. $5. 480-966-8200. Wed., Oct. 16: 1st and 3rd Wed., a nonsmoking coffeehouse, 7 p.m., auditorium, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs., Oct. 17: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri., Oct. 18: Every Fri., open dancing to a variety of music, 9:15 p.m. to midnight. Dance lessons 7:30-9:15. $5 Paragon Dance Center, 3029 N. Alma School, Chandler. 480-777-8877. Sat., Oct. 19 (to Nov. 17): 37th annual Cowboy Arts of America Exhibit, Phoenix Art Museum, 1625 N. Central. Adm. $7 (free Thursdays). 602-257-1222. Sun., Oct. 20: Sundays, Adobe Mountain Railroad Museum and Desert Railroad Park, 23280 N. 43rd Ave., Phoenix. Free rides in mini-steam trains. 12-5 pm. Free (donations appreciated). 623-386-5737. Mon., Oct. 21: Forget wimpy sports! Mondays (and Wednesdays) you can watch the women's division Scottsdale Blues Ruby Club practice and play 7:30 p.m. Arcadia High School, 4703 E. Indian School. Hotline: 602-407-5555. Tues., Oct. 22: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, 2605 N. 15th Ave., Phoenix. 7-9:30 p.m. Free. 602-262-6412 Wed., Oct. 23: "Intimacy in relationships: building blocks or road blocks" lecture in the Visiting Professor Series, Glendale Public Library large meeting room, 5959 W. Brown, Glendale. 7p.m. Free. 623-845-3808. Thurs., Oct. 24: Lunch and a show! Heritage Square Readers' Theatre Group presents the first performance of their brown bag lunch series, 12:15 to 12:45 outside the Rosson House, 6th St. & Monroe. Free. 602-261-8063. Fri., Oct. 25: Astronomy Open House, Bateman Physical Science Bldg., H-wing roof (5th floor), ASU. 8-10 p.m. Free. Telescopic views. 480-727-7010. Sat., Oct. 26 (& 27): Boo at the Zoo, Phoenix Zoo. Come in costume! Events and activities. 602-914-4344. Sun., Oct. 27: Fall colors are spreading throughout the high country in October. Call local chambers of commerce for info on the state of leaves, such as Pinetop-Lakeside in the White Mountains, 928-367-4290. Mon., Oct. 28: Quick, before the nights get too cold -- have dinner at any restaurant with an Tues., Oct. 29: Tuesdays (and Thursdays) Men's division Scottsdale Blues Ruby Club practice and play 7:30 p.m. Arcadia High School, 4703 E. Indian School. Hotline: 602-407-5555. Wed., Oct. 30: Last Wed., Acoustic Jam Session for amateurs. 7 p.m., large meeting room, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs., Oct. 31: Lots of communities host Halloween events, such as the Halloween Carnival at Eldroado Park ballfields, 1909 N. Miller, Scottsdale. 480-312-2483. < > < > < > < > < > IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed!