Singles Scene Newsletter 10-30-00 issue 40 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * Being a "critic" can ruin your social life * Advice from Aunt Janet-- Gals: Are you advertising what you aren't selling? * All Singles Dance Schedule * Arizona Date Ideas for Oct. 31- Nov. 12 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Being a social "critic" can ruin your social life. by Janet L. Jacobsen When meeting through the personals, your first "date" is the first phone conversation. But for some folks that first date can also be the last. While there are many reasons that people might not "click" in a phone conversation, one sure turn-off is overdoing the negative comments, which can come in several forms. (These behaviors are just as much a problem on actual first dates, too.) Some people think getting acquainted is giving the other person a major disclosure of personal problems and short-comings; maybe they figure that sympathy is the way to a date. But the other person is usually looking to meet someone who will make their life more interesting and up-beat, not someone who will add a new dimension of misery. And there are singles who think that the way to win a heart is by running down all the OTHER opposite sex people they've ever known - why their marriage and/or relationships didn't work out because of the horrible things the OTHER person did. First off, this new person isn't on the phone to hear about your past relationships; they want to get to know YOU. And listening to someone roundly condemning everyone of your gender is not really much of a call to romance. A sure way to keep a new person at emotional arm's-length is to criticize, complain, or condemn them for their behavior. People who could respect you for saying, "I'm a vegetarian" are not going to be nearly as respectful if you say, "You meat-eaters are all slime and have no morals." You can be firm about your own convictions without condemning others. Maybe we cringe from negative people because we're afraid of the criticism, but probably not. More likely you've learned that people who only feel good about themselves by tearing others down are people who have little or nothing to offer you; all the negativism is a smoke screen to cover their own unwillingness to become better people themselves. How long can YOU go without saying (or thinking) anything negative? * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Advice from Aunt Janet -- Give some real thought to what you wear when you go out to meet people. This isn't a suggestion to "dress to impress" -- unless you ALWAYS dress that way. This IS to suggest that you be certain that how you look represents how you actually want people to see you. I'm thinking of the gals especially. Sure you THINK you have to dress "sexy" to catch a man's eye, but if that's the only way he's going to notice you, is he really the kind of guy you want? Also, don't advertise what you aren't selling. In other words, if you believe in "friends first" and you're looking for a long-term loving relationship, that's NOT the message he gets when you dress like a Cosmo cover. ************************* ALL SINGLES DANCE SCHEDULE: November 3 Scottsdale Radisson, 7171 N. Scottsdale Rd. November 10 Scottsdale Radisson, 7171 N. Scottsdale Rd. November 17 Mountain Shadows, 5641 E. Lincoln Dr., Paradise Valley November 24 Mountain Shadows, 5641 E. Lincoln Dr., Paradise Valley December 1 Scottsdale Radisson, 7171 N. Scottsdale Rd. Dance admission is $8. Call 480-949-8076 for more info or see *********************** November Date Ideas Tues., Oct. 31: "Halloween 15: A dramatic reading in the Victorian Tradition," with Geoffrey Platts, Kerr Cultural Center, 6110 N. Scottsdale Rd. 8 pm. Tickets $13-$16. 480-965-5377. Wed., Nov. 1: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture. $5 admi., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., Nov. 2: Taurids meteor shower. Every Thurs., free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated). Til 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. See the 35th Annual Cowboy ARtists of America Exhibition until Nov. 19. 602-257-1880. Fri., Nov. 3: Thru Sun., Simply Citrus Festival, Center Street between University & Main, downtown Mesa. Games, activities, entertainment. Free. 480-644-2351. Every Fri., Rodders Fellowship Club classic car "Friday Night Cruise-In", parking lot, ne corner Baseline & Stapley Dr. in Mesa. Begins 6 pm. Sat., Nov. 4: McCormick Railroad Park 25th anniversary celebration, 10 am to 7 pm. Scottsdale Rd. at Indian Bend. Free rides, displays, tours. 480-312-2312. Most Saturday nights: Centerpoint, Mill & University, downtown Tempe. 6-9 pm., live music, magicians and other entertainment. Free. 480-947-3500. Sun., Nov. 5: Sunnyslope Rock Garden, 10023 N. 13th Pl., Phoenix. Sculptures made of broken china, rocks & trinkets. 1-5 p.m. Free. 602-997-4627. Sundays to Nov. 19, the Desert Botanical Garden, Phoenix, Music in the Garden Concert Series, 11:30 am to 1 pm. Nonmembers $13.50, includes Garden admission. Optional brunch available 9:30-12:30. 480-941-1225. Mon., Nov. 6: 7 pm, chess night at Borders Books & Music, Biltmore Fashion Park, 24th St. & Camelback, Phx. Watch; play! 602-957-6660. Tues., Nov. 7: Most Tuesdays there's a backgammon tournament at 7 pm at the George and Dragon pub, 4240 N. Central in Phoenix. Tourney entry is $10; bring your own board. 602-265-1992. Wed., Nov. 8: 7 p.m., every Wednesday night fun skate for adults, El Dorado Park, 2311 N. Miller Rd., Scottsdale. Winds thru city. Free 480-942-4156. Thurs., Nov. 9: Every Thurs., standup comedy night, 8 p.m., Star Theatre, 7111 E. McDowell, Scottsdale. $4, reservations required. 480-423-0120. Fri., Nov. 10: Thru Nov. 12, Fountain Festival, Fountain Hills. 10 am to 5 pm. 3 stages of live entertainment, juried arts and crafts, food. Free. 480-837-1654. Sat., Nov. 11: The Phoenix Friends of Old Time Music hold a Contra Dance at the Kenilworth School, 1210 N. 5th Avenue in Phoenix, from 7:30-11 pm. 480-759-2382. Every Saturday, classic car exhibits 5-9 p.m. around McDonalds at the Scottsdale Pavillions, Pima & Indian Bend Roads in Scottsdale. Sun., Nov. 12: 12th semi-annual Way Out West Bird Expo, 9 am to 4 pm, Arizona State Fairgrounds, 19th Ave. & McDowell, Phx. Admission $6; 602-973-9282. *************************************************** SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ---------------------------------------------- If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It doesn't have to be an ordeal to meet people, if you know the right conversational skills. (YES, it's a commercial announcement ....) Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed **************************! To unsubscribe to this newsletter, send a blank email to singlesphx--@topica.com If a friend would like to subscribe, have them send a blank email to singlesphx-@topica.com