Single Scene Newsletter 1-31-03 Issue 76 Copyright Single Scene 2003 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * Lunch Date “How-To’s” -- Part I * Advice from Aunt Janet: School valentines work for grown-ups too. * February daily ideas for dating and mingling --including SMoCA singles event on Feb. 13! ------------------------------- Know someone who's struggling to adjust to being single again? Harlan's “divorce recovery” class has helped thousands of singles and is now available as a FREE 5-day e-mail course. Just send a blank e-mail to divorcesec-@getresponse.com. Be sure to send it from the e-mail address where you want to receive the course. We'll send a helpful lesson each day -- absolutely free! ------------------------------------------------ LUNCH DATE ‘HOW-TOs’ for improving your social life by Janet L. Jacobsen So you’ve met someone interesting you’d like to ask out, but you’re awfully busy these days and are having trouble finding time to keep your social life going. There’s one date that solves the time problem, AND is the kind of first date people are most likely to accept. Sooner or later, everybody’s got to eat. Lunch works well as a date because normally you meet at the location, so there’s no hassle about getting picked up; the time commitment is short, so you only have to be on your best behavior for a little while; expense is minimal - it’s fairly easy to “go Dutch,” for that matter - so no one feels “obligated” (no worry about what they might expect in return); and if it’s terribly boring, you have to go back to work soon anyway. And all the advantages of a lunch date apply whether you’re interested in romance, or just looking to make a new friend. This issue we'll talk about picking the right place for a lunch date. Next month we'll talk about handling timing problems. PICKING THE PLACE Since most of us will be coming to a lunch date from work, there are some qualities to look for in a lunch location to guarantee the best possible date results (meaning that at least the place doesn’t ruin it for you). 1. Getting there should mean a minimum of hassle for the person you invite. Either it’s close to where they work, or in some way convenient for them (they’re going to be in the area that day anyway, for instance). If you insist on the maximum convenience for yourself, your guest may still agree to go, but you’ll have already lost some points. This also means you should be able to give very good directions on how to find the place. (Yes, you should have a location in mind before you ask. The best course is to suggest a couple of possible places and then let the other person make the final choice.) 2. The food should be at least edible. You don’t have to dazzle him with the incredible cuisine, but you don’t want them seriously gagged, either. If the menu is clever, or some items unusual, that gives you something to talk about, but you don’t want your date to take one look and say, “I wouldn’t eat any of this.” (That’s what’s called “getting off to a bad start.”) This means that if you’re going to a place that specializes in anything other than standard American, be sure the other person knows. I talked my brothers into meeting me at a placed called the American Grill, a semi-posh seafood/Americana place. They expected a burger joint. It was touch and go for a minute, but they’re still speaking to me. 3. The service needs to be fast. No doubt at least one of you will have to be back to work soon, which, allowing for travel time, may mean you only have a half hour for the whole experience. It’s best to mention to the server that you are somewhat pressed for time; most places will be conscientious if you give them a nudge. Salad bars, Chinese restaurants, and any place with a buffet make for quicker meals. And most places have lunch specials, which will generally also be quick. Or get chicken-to-go and have a picnic. 4. The atmosphere should be conducive to conversation. This means the noise level is not unbearable, the help doesn’t behave like you’re holding up the line, and you are not packed in like boxed tea bags. If the surroundings are in some way quaint, charming, unusual, or anything else that would inspire a little conversation, so much the better. Clean is also VERY important. 5. The price is moderate. One special advantage of a lunch date is that many of the high price restaurants have a much more moderately priced lunch, so you get to make a ritzy impression at a middle-class price. (If you’re not sure it’s in your price range, call ahead and ask the cost of the restaurant’s average lunch. While you’re at it, if the restaurant will take them, it’s a good idea to make reservations.) Of course, fast - and cheaper - food is ok if you know the other person likes it. But especially for a first date, a regular restaurant is probably better. You don’t risk making a “cheap” impression. Next issue: Lunch date timing ------------------------------------------------ ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET: School valentines work for grown-ups too! So you’ve had your eye on someone you cross paths with regularly, but you don’t know how to get a conversation started. Or there’s a person you know well enough to chat when you run into them (at work or a singles event, for instance) but you’re not sure if they’re “available.” Valentine’s Day is the perfect ice breaker! Pick up a box of “school” valentines -- you’ll find them at every grocery and drug store for the next coupe of weeks. Choose a variety that reflects YOU a bit -- a Disney theme, an action figure, whatever. They all include little envelopes -- pick an appropriate valentine, sign your name AND your phone number or email address, and put it in the envelope addressed to “Blue eyes” or “Smiley” some other characteristic that’s a compliment but not TOO personal. Then just hand them the valentine next time you see them. Do it at the END of the conversation (if you chat) and then walk off, so you aren’t putting them on the spot to react. Just say, “I have a valentine for you. Have a nice day.” Then if they contact you, GREAT! If not, just keep smiling and being friendly like you always have. They might be interested LATER, and you’ve made a nice gesture that will be remembered. Don’t run into them until AFTER Valentines Day? No problem. “I’ve been meaning to give this to you” works just fine. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You’ll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed! ************************** FEBRUARY daily ideas for DATING & MINGLING: Sat., Feb. 1: Parada del Sol, 10 a.m., Scottsdale Rd. from Oak to Indian School Rd., followed by entertainment & activities in Old Town Scottsdale. Free. Sun., Feb. 2 (also 1st): 13th Annual World Championship Hoop Dance Contest. Heard Museum, 2301 N. Central, Phoenix. $7 adm. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. 602-252-8848. Mon., Feb. 3: ArtSalons -- Lectures and discussions with guestartists. 7-9 pm, Burton Barr Central Library, Pulliam Auditorium, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636. Tues., Feb. 4: "Native Trails" exhibition of Native American music and dance, crafts and food. Free. Tues., Thurs. & Sats. 12-1:30 p.m. thru Feb., Scottsdale Civic Center Mall, sponsored by the Scottsdale Center for the Arts, 7380 E. 2nd St., Scottsdale. 480-994-ARTS. Wed., Feb. 5: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture. $8 adm., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., Feb. 6: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri., Feb. 7 (to 9): 13th annual Chinese Week Culture & Cuisine Fair, COFCO Chinese Cultural Center, 668 N. 44th St., Phoenix. Food, exhibits, demonstrations, entertainment. 602-548-8398. Sat., Feb. 8: 8th annual Picacho Peak Trail Ride & Cowboy Poetry Gathering, Picacho Peak State Park, at exit 219 on I-10, 60 miles east of Phoenix. $22 for dinner & live entertainment (preregistration required); $2 (park fee) for evening entertainment only. Trail riders must pre-register -- and supply own horse! Info & registration, Eloy Chamber of Commerce, 520-466-3411. Sun., Feb. 9 (also 8th): Book lovers delight to wallow in more than 500,000 books at miniscule prices at the 47th annual VNSA Used Book Sale, Exhibit Buildings, State Fairgrounds, 19th Ave. & McDowell, Phoenix. 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Free admission but a charge to park. 602-265-6805. Mon., Feb. 10 (Feb. 1 thru May 4): "Masterworks from El Greco to Picasso in The Phillips Collection," Phoenix Art Museum, 1625 N. Central Ave. Billed as "the most important exhibition ever mounted in Arizona." $16 tickets are for timed and dated entry. Advance reservations are recommended through Ticketmaster, or in person at the Museum. Museum info 602-257-1880. Tues., Feb. 11 (Tuesdays to March 25): Out to Lunch Concert Series, noon to 1 p.m., Centennial Hall Plaza, 201 N. Center St., Mesa. Different live entertainment group each week. Free. 480-644-5116. Wed., Feb. 12: Wednesdays (except first Wed.), Royal Scottish Country Dancing, 7 pm, Scottsdale Senior Center, Civic Center & 2nd Ave. Free. 480-834-5662. Newcomers welcome. Thurs., Feb. 13: No valentine at the moment? Mingle with hundreds of singles at SMoCA Nights, 9 pm to 1 p.m., Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art, 7380 E. Second St., Scottsdale. Food, cocktails, entertainment. $10 at the door. 480-994-ARTS. Fri., Feb. 14: First dates only on Valentine's Day, unless you're hinting at true love. Most restaurants are crowded; try a picnic instead. Sat., Feb. 15 (also 14th, to 23rd): Love all things horsy? See the All-Arabian Horse Show at Westworld, 16601 N. Pima Rd., Scottsdale. More than 2000 horses compete, plus 300 vendors. Times and ticket prices, 480-515-1500. Sun., Feb. 16 (also 15th): SRP's 100th Birthday Party takes place1-3 p.m. at various malls around the Valley with live entertainment. Check your local mall for details. Mon., Feb. 17: Mondays (and Wednesdays) women's division Scottsdale Blues Ruby Club practice and play 7:30 p.m. Arcadia High School, 4703 E. Indian School. Hotline: 602-407-5555. Tues., Feb. 18: Movie Tuesdays movie discussion series, every Tuesday, 5:30-7 p.m. Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636. Wed., Feb. 19: Every Wed., 7-10 pm, coffee house with performers and a jam session, Encanto Park Clubhouse, Phoenix. 602-261-8993. Thurs., Feb. 20: Every Thursday, "Live at the Library" features entertainment, especially musical groups. Free. Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St., 7 pm, auditorium. 623-930-3537. Fri., Feb. 21 (to 23rd): 16th Annual Goodyear Rodeo Days, Estrella Mountain Regional Park, featuring the National Senior Pro Rodeo Association. Events & admission info: 623-932-2260. Sat., Feb. 22 (& 23rd): Matsuri: A Festival of Japan, Heritage & Science Park, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 10:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. 3 stages of entertainment, exhibits, food, arts & crafts. Free. 602-262-5029. Sun., Feb. 23 (also 21-22): Fountain Hills Great Fair, Avenue of the Fountains & Saguaro Blvd. Over 460 arts & crafts exhibits, carnival, hot air balloon race. 480-837-1654. Mon., Feb. 24: Shemer Art Center Up Close & Personal features a discussion with Phoenix Symphony musician Chun-Yi Lu, 7 - 8 p.m. Nonmembers $5. 5005 E. Camelback, Phoenix. 602-262-4727. Tues., Feb. 25: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, 2605 N. 15th Ave., Phoenix. 7-9:30 p.m. Free. 602-262-6412. Wed., Feb. 26: Acoustic Jam Session for amateurs. 7 p.m., large meeting room, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs., Feb. 27: Heritage Square Readers' Theatre presents the murder mystery, "You Be the Judge," 12:15-12:45 p.m. outside the Rosson House, 6th St. & Monroe, Phoenix. Free. 602-261-8063 Fri., Feb. 28: Astronomy Open House, Bateman Physical Science Bldg., H-wing roof (5th floor), ASU. 8-10 p.m. Free. Telescopic views. 480-727-7010. < > < > < > < > < > SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_agai-@topica.com.