Single Scene Newsletter 2-28-04 Issue 89 Copyright Single Scene 2004 http://www.azsinglescene.com sing-@globalcrossing.net IN THIS ISSUE: * Arizona Singles News * The Single’s Guide to Happiness * Advice from Aunt Janet: What "family values" are we talking about? * Dates ideas for March ************************ For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our website at http://divorcerecovery101.com. ************************ Arizona Singles News Ahwatukee Area Singles If you live in the Ahwatukee area or the southeast Valley, there's a neighborhood singles group for those in their 30s thru 50s. Call for a complementary calendar or more information (afternoons or evenings): Marc 480-966-5247 or Gary 480-345-8758. Quotable! When the Arizona state Legislature was debating a plan to require a 24-hour waiting period before an abortion, Representative Olivia Cajero-Bedford (D-Tucson) offered an alternative plan: "I would support a 24-hour waiting period for men before having sex." ------------------- The Single’s Guide to Happiness by Janet L. Jacobsen In a recent issue, Reader's Digest laid out keys to happiness. Several of them have special implications for singles. Desire: Research suggests that it's not the current state of things that most influences your happiness, but the size of the gap between your current state and how you think things "should" be. If you have the notion that you can only be happy if you are married, you're refusing to enjoy the many good things about being single. And you may also be less likely to marry! After all, most of us would rather date people who are happy than people who are not. That may explain why one study found that happy people are more likely to marry and stay married than unhappy people. Friends and family: One study looked at the happiness of people in India and found that those living in the slums were about as happy as middle-class students living in the city. Researchers thought a key factor was that slum dwellers tended to have high satisfaction with their family and friends. Other studies have shown that having a network of supportive friends is important to your overall health. Some singles get so fixed on the idea of finding "someone" that they move from first date to first date and miss the opportunity that single life provides to develop meaningful and lasting friendships. Joining groups and organizations (especially singles groups) is a good way to start. Faith: Many studies have found a positive link between religious faith and happiness. And it turns out that the admonition "It is better to give than to receive" has research support. Studies found that the process of being supportive of others makes us feel better about ourselves. Time marches on: Feeling grouchy? Maybe just living a little longer will take care of that. One study gathered reports on the emotional states of people from age 18 to 94 for a week. Turns out older people have as many positive emotions as young people, but fewer negative emotions. Single life is an ideal time to develop many of the qualities that contribute to happiness: spiritual faith, a network of supportive friends and family, your own contributions to making the world a better place. Getting realistic in your expectations about single life -- and living that life to the fullest -- will make you a happier person. And maybe even bring you a great relationship. ------------------------------------- YOU CAN HELP! Our singles' Internet information, maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people, which means we have little budget to promote our services. Newly singled people will find out about it and get help only if readers like you (word of mouth) tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites, newsletters, and courses. Remind them these are all totally FREE. ----------------------------------------------- Advice from Aunt Janet: What "family values" are we talking about? All this talk about "family values" and "defending" marriage loses sight of some historically important facts, mostly that the model of the husband, wife and 2.3 kids as the "typical" American family is a relatively recent phenomena. The book "Legends, Lies & Cherishes Myths of American History" points out that in the 1800s about as many children grew up in single parent families as today, usually as the result of a parent's death. A recent article in the Wall Street Journal explains that the concept of needing a state-sanctioned "marriage license" didn't proliferate in the U.S. until the 1800s, which also then brought the states into the business of dissolving marriages, and divorce laws as we know them were born. In the last few decades we've seen the rise in couples choosing to live together either "before" marriage or"instead" of marriage, and then the need for "domestic partner" laws to cover the property and off-spring of those unions that didn't choose to be marriages. So as you listen to all the ruckus, remember that marriage and family in America have been a fluid and changing thing for a very long time. ------------------------------------------------------ Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_agai-@topica.com. ------------------------------------------------------ Dates ideas for March Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to confirm. March is Spring Training time. Get Cactus League baseball info at 480-496-6700. Mon., Mar. 1: First Monday, Art Salon, Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. 6:30 pm reception, 7 pm lecture/discussion on art & artists. Free. 602-262-4636. Tues., Mar. 2: Out to Lunch Concert Series, Superstition Springs Mall Amphitheatre, Mesa. Sponsored by Mesa Arts Center. Tuesdays, noon - 1 pm thru March 16. Free, 480-644-5116. Wed., March 3: The Arizona Historical Foundation 2004 Barry M. Goldwater Lecture Series, Kerr Cultural Center, 6100 N. Scottsdale Rd., guest speaker series on aspects of Arizona history. 9:30 coffee, lecture 10 a.m. Wed. thru March 17, $12 adm. 480-596-2660. Thurs., Mar. 4: Every Thurs., thru May -- free wine tasting 5-7 p.m., free concert 7-8:30 p.m., Carefree Town Center amphitheater, 101 Easy St., Carefree. 480-488-3686. Fri., Mar. 5: First Fridays art gallery tour, downtown Phoenix, 6-10 pm. Free. DASH bus starts from Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phx. 602-253-5000 ext. 1. or 602-256-7539. Oct. - June Sat., Mar. 6: Moonlight Hike, Dreamy Draw Park, 2421 E. Northern Ave., Phx. Park Ranger-led hike 7:30-9:30 pm. Bring a flashlight. Free, but advance registration required. 602-495-0222. Sun., March 7 (also Sat. 6th): 46th annual Heard Museum Guild Indian Fair & Market, 2301 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. Celebrated artisans, demonstrations, music. $10. 602-252-8848. Mon., Mar 8: Mondays (and Wednesdays) women's division Scottsdale Blues Rugby Club practice and play 7:30 p.m. Arcadia High School, 4703 E. Indian School. Hotline: 602-407-5555. Tues., Mar. 9: Most Tuesdays, Salsa Dance lesson, Axis/Radius, 7340 E. Indian Plaza, Scottsdale. 8:30 p.m. $5. 480-970-1112. Wed., Mar. 10: Wednesdays (except first Wed.), Royal Scottish Country Dancing, 7 pm, Scottsdale Senior Center, Civic Center & 2nd Ave. Free. 480-834-5662. Newcomers welcome. Thurs., Mar. 11: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri.-Sun., March 12-14: 8th annual Intertribal Pow Wow, Apache Gold Casino Resort, San Carlos Reservation. Dance, drumming and other performance contests. Arts & crafts. Free admission. 800-272-2438. Sat, Mar. 13 (also 12 & 14): 34th annual Scottsdale Arts Festival, Scottsdale Center for the Arts, 7380 E. 2nd St., Scottsdale. 10 am to 6 pm (5 pm Sun.) see hundreds of artists and three stages of entertainment. $6. 480-994-2787. Sun., Mar. 14 (also 13th): Tres Rios Nature Festival, Estrella Mountain Regional Park. Tours and educational programs on the Gila, Salt and Agua Fria rivers. 9 am to 4 pm. $10 per car admission. Mon., Mar. 15: Take an evening stroll through the ASU campus,which is also an arboretum. You'll have the place to yourself -- it's Spring Break week! Tues., Mar. 16: Movie Tuesdays movie discussion series, every Tuesday, 5:30-7 p.m. Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636. Wed., Mar. 17: St. Patrick's Day! Avoid any bars with English or Irish-sounding names. Instead have dinner at a restaurant with patio seating. There are dozens in the Valley, like Lon's in Phoenix, House of Tricks in Tempe, El Encanto Mexican Patio Cafe in Cave Creek. Thurs., Mar. 18: Kerr Cultural Center "Final Word" Series, 6100 N. Scottsdale Rd., coffee at 10, lecture at 10:30. ASU's Dr. Jess Alberts speaks on "Mapping the typology of couples' daily conversations." $6.50. 480-596-2660. Fri./Sun., March 19-21: National Festival of the West, WestWorld, 16601 N. Pima Rd., Scottsdale, celebrates all things western; special focus this year on John Wayne. Admission. Info 602-996-4387. Sat., Mar. 20: "Marking Time," special exhibit on how ancient peoples measured time, created calendars, and planned events. Pueblo Grande Museum & Archaeological Park, 4619 E. Washington, Phx.. General Admission charge. 602-495-0901. Sun., March 21: Sunday on Central, Central Ave. from Virginia Ave. to Osborn Rd., Phx., closed to traffic 11 am to 5 pm for multiple stages of entertainment, street level performers, food, etc. Free adm. 602-261-8645. Mon., Mar. 22: Melodic Monday at the Shemer Art Center, 5005 E. Camelback Rd., Phx., features English Hornist Paul Engerer. 7-8 pm. $5. 602-262-4727. Tues., Mar. 23: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, 2605 N. 15th Ave., Phoenix. 7-9:30 p.m. Free. 602-262-6412. Wed., Mar. 24: Every Wed., 7-10 pm, coffee house with performers and a jam session, Encanto Park Clubhouse, Phoenix. 602-261-8993. Thurs., Mar. 25: Every Thurs., free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated). Til 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. 602-257-1880. Fri., Mar. 26 (thru Sun., 28): Tempe Spring Festival of the Arts, Downtown Tempe. 500 booths of arts & crafts, multiple stages of entertainment, street performers, food booths. Free. Draws HUGE crowds. 480-894-8158. Sat., Mar. 27: If it's a wet Spring, there will still be wildflowers in the desert. Pack a picnic lunch to any of the following: Lost Dutchman State Park, Apache unction off Arizona 88; Cave Creek Recreation Area, 1.5 miles no. of Carefree Highway on 32nd St.; or White Tank Mountain Regional Park, off West Olive Avenue in Waddell. Sun., Mar. 28: Sundays, Adobe Mountain Railroad Museum and Desert Railroad Park, 23280 N. 43rd Ave., Phoenix. Free rides in mini-steam trains. 12-5 pm. Free (donations appreciated). 623-386-5737. Mon., Mar. 29: Want to determine if you and your heart-throb share similar tastes? Browse in a bookstore together, starting with the magazine section, through the music aisles, lingering over the "new books" table, and ending in the coffee shop. Tues., Mar. 30: How about a casual date, just out for a beer and some good bar food. The Arizona Republic's "Rep's Best" named the Four Peaks Brewing Company, 1340 E. Eighth St. in Tempe as the Best Brew Pub. The food's good too. Wed., Mar. 31: Acoustic Jam Session for amateurs. 7 p.m., large meeting room, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You’ll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed! -------------------------------------------------