Singles Scene Newsletter 6/22/00 issue 27 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * Pointers for mingling at a singles event * Letter to the Editor! Should she mention being overweight? * Singles Site of the Week * All Singles Dance Schedule * Arizona Date Ideas for June 22-30 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Pointers for mingling at a singles event by Janet L. Jacobsen When you attend a singles dance or other singles social event, it can almost be an embarrassment of riches - so many to meet, so little time! There are ways, however, to make the most of the mingling. 1. Speak first. Why waste time waiting for others to approach you? Walk up to anyone who looks interesting or friendly and ask if it's their first time, and then either what they think of it so far, or what their experience has been in the past. Keep it light; you're not supposed to be grilling the person, just gathering information to help make the event more enjoyable. 2. Park yourself in the main stream. People attending an event for the first time may stand in the corners, out of the way - and out of luck for meeting people. Move yourself to the center of the action; near the munchies table is often a good spot, since just about everyone will cross your path eventually. 3. Avoid focusing on just one. Some folks spend an entire evening trying to figure out - from afar - who interests them most, and by the time they narrow the field, that person is already interested in someone else. 4. Know how to move on. Some singles hesitate to start conversations because they have difficulty extricating themselves later. At any social event it's appropriate to say, "Well, we're all supposed to be here to mingle, so I guess we'd better get busy. Nice talking to you" - and move on. 5. Put yourself in charge of socializing. One fellow had a terrible time mingling at singles events, until he gave himself the job of seeing to it that every woman got to dance, which he accomplished by asking everyone he could and then not dancing more than two songs with anyone. He developed a reputation as a very friendly guy - and his social life soared. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * LETTER TO THE EDITOR Should her ad say she's overweight? Single Scene newsletter: You discussed writing personals and certain words not to use etc. How do you suggest letting a member of the opposite sex know that you have a weight problem without automatically having someone judge you. I am about 60 pounds overweight but do not look that heavy. I find if I get to meet someone they never call me a 2nd time etc. I know there are groups that cater to the obese but I don't consider myself obese and I find that the men who have a big weight problem do not dress well or take care of themselves. Any suggestions? Louise Janet replies: Did you notice that you say you don't want to be judged on your weight, but you have your own stereotype of men who are heavy? There are men (of all weights) who find "some extra flesh on the bones" attractive, so by being straight-forward about it, you are more likely to appeal to them. Also, keep in mind that if you are expecting to be rejected over your weight, you may be carrying that attitude into your blind dates, which may be more of a problem than the weight itself. The term I think is most charming when I see it in personal ads is Reubenesque, after the work of the great painter. I've also seen ads that say "pleasingly plump," which to me also shows a sense of humor on the matter. Try a phrase or two that indicates your own attitude, then see how ad respondents react, and try a different phrase. Keep adjusting until you find the approach that represents you - and attracts the kind of people you want to meet. Other possibilities that I've seen include "built like . . . " (Fergie, Rosie, Danny DeVito, whoever), or "no skinny-Minny." Let us know what works! What do YOU think? We welcome your letters, opinions, questions, and suggestions! We're at sing-@primenet.com. ************************ Singles Site of the Week - How can you know whether a movie is really worth seeing? The advice of dozens of published movie critics is gathered for you at www.rottentomatoes.com. Then you can draw your own conclusions! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ALL SINGLES DANCE SCHEDULE: Fri. June 30 Mountain Shadows, 5641 E. Lincoln Drive, Paradise Valley MONDAY JULY 3 INDEPENDENCE DAY DANCE Mountain Shadows Fri. July 7 Scottsdale Radisson, 7171 N. Scottsdale Rd. Fri. July 14 Mountain Shadows, 5641 E. Lincoln Drive, Paradise Valley Fri. July 21 Scottsdale Radisson, 7171 N. Scottsdale Rd. Fri. July 28 Mountain Shadows, 5641 E. Lincoln Drive, Paradise Valley Beginning July 3, the dance admission will be $7 before 9 pm, $8 after 9. Call 480-949-8076 (press 1) for more info or see *********************** DATE IDEAS Thurs., June 22 (every Thurs.): Standup comedy night, 8 p.m., Star Theatre, 7111 E. McDowell, Scottsdale. $4, reservations required. 480-423-0120. Fri., June 23 (every Fri.): For chocolate & dessert lovers all, take a 2 pm half-hour tour of the Fairytale Brownies factory, 6280 W. Erie St., in Chandler. 480-895-5170. Sat., June 24 (also June 21-25): Attend the annual Prescott Valley Days in Prescott Valley. 520-772-8857. Sat., June 24: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.)4 pm-? 623-374-5794. Sun. June 25 (every Sun.): Free admission day at the Pueblo Grande Museum, 4619 E. Washington, Phoenix, on southwest archeology and culture. 1-4:45 Sunday. 602-495-0901. Mon., June 26: Here's an interesting place to meet for a first date: the lobby at the Embassy Suites, behind the bank, at 2630 E. Camelback in Phoenix. Fish ponds and waterfalls. Have a drink in the bar. Tues., June 27: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, Phoenix. 7:30-10 p.m. 602-261-8993. Wed., June 28: Have a "swim party;" barbecue afterward. Thurs. June 29 (thru July 4): Frontier Days & World's Oldest Rodeo, Prescott. 800-358-1888. Fri., June 30: Evening poetry reading, Changing Hands Bookstore, McClintock & Guadalupe (sw corner), Tempe. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * AND NOW--a commercial announcement -- Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed ************************** SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ---------------------------------------------- If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! To unsubscribe to this newsletter, send a blank email to singlesphx--@topica.com If a friend would like to subscribe, have them send a blank email to singlesphx-@topica.com