Single Scene Newsletter 8-31-04 Issue 95 Copyright Single Scene 2004 http://www.azsinglescene.com publi-@azsinglescene.com IN THIS ISSUE: **When is eating alone not alone? **National Singles Week Sept 19-25! **Singles News Briefs **Advice from Aunt Janet: What's the assumption? **Things to do in September --------------------------------------- For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our website at http://divorcerecovery101.com. ---------------------------------------- AREA SINGLES NEWS Singles Dance Sept. 18 Gilbert First United Methodist, 331 S. Cooper (Stapley), is having a singles dance Sept. 18, 8 to 11 p.m. Live band. $5 admission. When is eating alone not alone? Fine Dining -- at the bar. Recently the "Arizona Republic" featured an article on the savings that can be had by dining at the bar in some of the Valley's better restaurants. What they neglected to mention is that for singles who like good food, having dinner at the bar can be a fun way to socialize over the evening meal -- with the bartender and other diners at the bar -- while eating out "alone." Among their recommended restaurants for glorious pub food: Christopher's Fermier Brasserie has a bar menu $9 to $15, but half price during happy hour, 3 to 6:30 Monday to Friday. And 10 pm to midnight they offer "Late Night Leftovers," a variety of dishes priced around $10. 2584 E. Camelback, Phoenix. 602-522-2344. Eddie Matney's has an evening bar menu with items priced in the $5-7 range. 2398 E Camelback, Phoenix. 602-957-3214. Roaring Fork serves a "Saloon Menu" only available at the bar, offered 7 to 10 p.m. daily, with reduced prices 4-7 pm Monday-Saturday. 4800 N. Scottsdale Rd. 480-947-0795. Zinc Bistro features an "Off Hour Menu" 3 to 5 and 10 p.m. to midnight. 15034 N. Scottsdale Rd. 480-603-0922. National SINGLES Week September 19-25 is National Singles Week, the only week dedicated to the recognition of the important role singles play in American life. According to the 2000 U.S. Census, singles represent 45.6% of the U.S. population. Today 25.8% of Americans live alone, up from 17% in 1970; of owner-occupied homes, 20.3% are one-person households. Singles in various living arrangements (children at home, nonmarital households, etc.) make up about 47% of U.S. households. Singles are a major social and economic force in America. Celebrate being single, Sept. 19 to 26! ------------------------------------------------------ Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_agai-@topica.com. ------------------------------------------------------ SINGLES NEWS BRIEFS: After the romance -- more than friends. In a study reported recently in the journal Communication Quarterly, researchers asked college students (age 17 to 24) about their most recently ended romantic relationship and the extent that they had stayed friends. The average relationship had lasted 16 months, and on average the romance had been over for a year and a half. A number of factors influenced whether people stayed friends. Having a general belief that partners should stay friends was important, as was how much the person liked their previous partner. Hope that the relationship might get together was also a factor for some people. The researchers found that the shorter the relationship and the longer the time since the breakup, the more likely couples were to stay friends. However, having been friends before the romance did not predict whether the couple stayed friends afterward. The researchers concluded that for opposite sex relationships, people who are friends after having been in a romance are emotionally closer than those who have simply been friends. The push-pull of romantic relationships. A recent article in Reader's Digest discussed how the need for intimacy and the need for separateness push and pull in any romantic relationship. Long-lasting relationships find a way to balance the two. Some keys to fostering intimacy are having "bonding rituals" -- things the couple regularly does together; being kind and polite to each other, avoiding power struggles; and resolving arguments instead of letting them fester, even if it means getting outside help. Some keys to protecting separateness include appreciating each other's differences, encouraging each other in maintaining outside friendships, and each being supportive of the other's special interest, such as a hobby or sport. Women see red -- and other colors. Researchers at Arizona State University have determined thatin general women see colors better than men do, particularly the color red. Researchers speculate the difference -- which is related to the presence of a particular gene on the X chromosome -- helped distinguish fruits, foliage and insects when human existence was in the hunter-gatherer stage and women were the gatherers. Meanwhile about 8% of men have color vision deficiency, more commonly referred to as being color blind. Quotable. "If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If he had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. And a sunrise every morning. Face it, he's crazy about you." Beryl L. Hendrickson, in "Guideposts" magazine. ------------------------------------- YOU CAN HELP! Our singles' Internet information, maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people, which means we have little budget to promote our services. Newly singled people will find out about it and get help only if readers like you (word of mouth) tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites, newsletters, and courses. Remind them these are all totally FREE. ----------------------------------------------- Advice from Aunt Janet: What's the assumption? People seem to come in two categories: those who tend to assume the best in other people, and those who assume the worst. Either perspective can be carried too far, such as when even in the face of vast evidence, someone simply can't believe that their sweetheart isn't as faithful as they are. Or at the other extreme, we have the partner who is by nature never trusting and regularly jealous. If you are choosing positions, choose to assume the best. Face it, lots of us who were behaving perfectly well to begin with will begin to behave badly if we are constantly accused of behaving badly. If you're going to be in trouble anyway, it might as well be for a reason. On the other hand, lots of us will try to live up to a good image. So when in doubt, assume the best. ----------------------------------------- Great Dates! Single Scene's list of date ideas costing $7 per person or less, including hundreds of FREE things to do around Phoenix. Send $2 to Great Dates, Single Scene, Box 10159, Scottsdale AZ 85271. ---------------------------------------- Things to do (on a date or otherwise) in September (including "cool" things going on out of town!) Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to confirm. Mondays through September: Birds in the Garden Tours, Desert Botanical Garden, 1201 N. Galvin Parkway, Phx. 7 a.m. Guided birding. Free with $9 adm. 480-941-1225. Experience Autumn! By late September the leaves should be turning in the higher elevations, including around Flagstaff, in the White Mountains, and in Oak Creek Canyon. Go for a drive! Wed., Sept. 1: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture (7 p.m.). $5 adm., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Sept. 4-6: Can't get enough of the Wild West? Attend the Rendezvous of Gunfighters in downtown Tombstone, where gunfighter groups from around the country "show their skills." Parade, costume contest. 888-457-3929. Or if your preference for the Labor Day Weekend is to stay in town and avoid the traffic, note that the nights are cooling off! Have dinner (or early breakfast) at a restaurant with outdoor seating. Sat., Sept. 11: Summer Concert Series featuring Alice Tatum; Steele Indian School Park, outdoor amphitheater, 3rd St. & IndianSchool, Phoenix. 8-10 p.m. Free. 602-495-0739. Sat., Sept. 18: Bye-bye Buzzards. The annual migration of the turkey vultures is a good reason to visit the beautiful Boyce Thompson Arboretum on Hwy 60 at Superior. 520-689-2811. Fri., Sept. 24: Astronomy Open House, Bateman Physical Science Bldg., H-wing roof (5th floor), ASU. 8-10 p.m. Free. Telescopic views. 480-965-7652. Sat., Sept. 25: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-? 623-374-5794. ----------------------------------------- Great Dates! Single Scene's list of date ideas costing $7 per person or less, including hundreds of FREE things to do around Phoenix. Send $2 to Great Dates, Single Scene, Box 10159, Scottsdale AZ 85271. ---------------------------------------- IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You’ll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed! -------------------------------------------------