Singles Scene Newsletter 9-21-00 issue 36 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * THE DANGERS OF TOO MUCH TOO SOON * Advice from Aunt Janet * Singles Web site of the Week * All Singles Dance Schedule * Arizona Date Ideas for Sept. 22 to 30. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The Dangers of Too Much Too Soon by Janet L. Jacobsen Well, you've met someone who seems really special and boy is it easy to spend more and more and more time together, especially in the first excitement of getting to know each other. But sooner or later you're going to have to do your laundry and visit your family and see your dentist, and taking time away from the relationship can be very difficult indeed. There seems to be an emotional connection between amount of time and amount of caring, to some people. And when you say, "Listen, I'm going to need my Tuesday evenings free for awhile," some people will take it as a rejection. While it is possible to negotiate spending less time together and still save the relationship, for most people it's very difficult. The cure is at the cause; don't rush into committing major chunks of time. One way to "go slow" in a relationship is to space out your time together. Dating the same person Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday is a relationship in a hurry, whether you wanted it that way or not. Keeping several days between each date will insure that reality has a chance against the thrill of romance. Be alert for patterns. If you're about to ask for (or accept) your fourth Tuesday date in a row, consider how easy will it be to not date next Tuesday. A recent singles discussion group concluded that while dates for two Saturdays in a row would cause few assumptions about the third Saturday, dates for three Saturdays in a row would be seen by many as a commitment for a date on the fourth Saturday - and might not have been the wisest thing to do. The thrill of rushing into romance can be fun, but doesn't always give us a very accurate picture of the other person, or the relationship. It can take some effort to keep the romance at a more realistic pace, but relationships built a little at a time seem to be a lot more solid than those heaped together in a hurry. ************************ Singles Site of the Week - Ok, we're getting tired of doing all the research ourselves. Send us YOUR recommendation of web sites that would be useful and/or interesting to other singles. [Send to mailto:sing-@primenet.com THANKS! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Advice from Aunt Janet -- Is it really wise to be shopping for a new romance when you haven't broken up with the old one yet? Some people think they are being smart to have a new relationship before they end one. But what you're doing is teaching your new partner that you can't be trusted -- and that it's ok for THEM to shop for a new love before they break up with you! If a relationship isn't good, end it for its own sake. Get happy and comfortable being alone. THEN find a relationship that makes you even happier. Trading up in mid-relationship is a BAD policy. ************************* ALL SINGLES DANCE SCHEDULE: Sepember 29 Mountain Shadows, 5641 E. Lincoln Dr., Paradise Valley Oct. 5 No suitable location available October 13 Scottsdale Radisson, 7171 N. Scottsdale Rd., Scottsdale. Oct. 20 No suitable location available October 29 Mountain Shadows, 5641 E. Lincoln Dr., Paradise Valley Dance admission is $7 before 9 pm, $8 after 9. Call 480-949-8076 (press 1) for more info or see *********************** DATE IDEAS Fri. 22nd: NOT the thing to do for a first date, but if you're already friendly, see a double-feature at the drive-in! Sat. 23rd: Bye Bye Buzzards Day at the Boyce Thompson Arboretum State Park, in Superior. 7 am to 3 pm. Admission $5. 520-689-2723. Sun. 24th: The Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix begins their Music in the Garden Concert Series from 11:30 am to 1 pm each Sunday. Admission for nonmembers is $13.50, which includes Garden admission. An optional brunch is available 9:30-12:30. 480-941-1225. Mon. 25th: More month than money? Catch a film at a "dollar" theater! Tues. 26th: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, Phoenix. 7:30-10 p.m. 602-261-8993. Wed. 27th: Evenings are cooling off! Time to have dinner on some restaurant's terrific outdoor patio. If money is no object, try Lon's at the Hermosa Inn, with a great view of Camelback. Th. 28th: Every Thurs., free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated). Til 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. 602-257-1880. Fri. 29th: Evening poetry reading, Changing Hands Bookstore, McClintock & Guadalupe (sw corner), Tempe. Sat. 30th: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-? 623-374-5794. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It doesn't have to be an ordeal to meet people, if you know the right conversational skills. (YES, it's a commercial announcement ....) Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. 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