Single Scene Newsletter 8-30-02 issue 71 Copyright Single Scene 2002 sing-@primenet.com! Celebrate NATIONAL SINGLES WEEK-- Sept. 15-21!!!!! In this issue: * Rules for phone numbers, Part I * Advice from Aunt Janet: Should you accept a date that doesn't sound "fun"? * September dating and mingling ideas Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for our NEW dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_agai-@topica.com. ------------------------------------------------ CAN I CALL YOU SOME TIME? Phone etiquette for dating, Part I by Janet Jacobsen Recently a fellow I know had a serious problem at a singles dance. In one pocket was a woman's telephone number. In the other pocket was the number of another woman he had met that night. Neither woman had written her name on the slip of paper with her number. He couldn't remember whose number went into which pocket. Now he was too embarrassed to consider calling either of them. Probably the saddest part of this is that women often feel rejected when they give a man their number and he doesn't call. In this case, they brought it on themselves. The telephone number creates all sort of problems. When should you ask for the person's number? If they don't give it to you now, should you ask at another time? Should you give your number to someone you're not interested in dating? Does asking for a number necessarily mean you're interested in dating the person? You can probably think of several more such dilemmas. Certainly today e-mail addresses and instant messaging provide a layer of anonymity for contacting people you don't know well. But if the relationship is to progress in real time in the real world, sooner or later phone numbers get exchanged. One way to make it easier to give your phone number to someone is to have a "personal" card. No need to get thousands printed; you can buy business card stationery at office supply stores, and make as few or as many as you want on your computer. One man's just says, "MY CARD" with his name and home phone number. When he meets a woman he thinks is interesting, he gives her his card and suggests that she call him some time to chat. He's been very happy with the results. My own card gives my name and phone and says "Person-at-large." First, it's a real conversation piece -- they ask me what "Person-at-large" means. Second, it solves the problem of always needing a pencil and paper if I want to give someone my number. Third, it definitely has my name on it, and it makes me memorable. Plus it's a casual way of saying "Call me sometime," even when he hasn't asked for the number! Next time: More pointers on dating phone etiquette, Part II ------------------------------- Know someone who's struggling to adjust to dating? Harlan's FREE 8-day e-mail course on dating again trains you in the basic skills! Just send a blank e-mail to datingagai-@getresponse.com. Be sure to send it from the e-mail address where you want to receive the course. You'll get a helpful lesson each day -- absolutely free! ----------------------------------------------- ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET: Should you turn down a date that doesn't sound "fun"? One of my favorite relationship horror stories is the couple who had season football tickets all the years they were dating, but after they got married she told him she never liked football and wouldn't be going any more. He felt betrayed. Rightly so, I'd say. But what should you do if someone you really want to go out with suggests a date idea that's not really "your cup of tea"? Are you being dishonest to agree to go? A while back someone invited me to a baseball game. And I was honest; I said, "My experience with baseball is that it's really boring, but I like spending time with you, so I'll give it a try." Over the last couples of years I've been to several games. I've learned a lot about baseball. My friend knows it's still not my favorite thing, but I enjoy it more than I thought I would; I even suggest it now and then. So here's the winning play: Be honest -- and open. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ------------------------------------- If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< September Dating & Mingling Ideas: Sun., Sept. 1: Arizona Old Time Fiddlers Association Jam Session, 1-4 pm, Eldorado Park Community Center, 2311 N. Miller Rd., Sc. 480-994-2697. Monday, Sept. 2: ArtSalon: Lecture and discussion with guest artist Barbara Jo McLaughlin, from Tucson. 7-9 pm, Burton Barr Central Library, Pulliam Auditorium, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636. Tuesday, Sept. 3: Guests from legal community discuss the cinematic jury in the film "12 Angry Men." 5:30-7 pm. Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636. Wed., Sept. 4: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture. $8 adm., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., Sept. 5: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri., Sept. 6: Every Fri., evening drag racing, Firebird International Raceway, 20000 S. Maricopa Rd., Chandler. 6 p.m. $10. 602-268-0200. Saturday, Sept. 7: Free concert 8-10 p.m. in the outdoor amphitheater at the new Steele Indian School Park, 3rd St. & Indian School, Phoenix. Features jazz vocalist Margo Reed and Trio. 602-495-0739. Sun, Sept. 8: Every Sunday, free admission day at the Pueblo Grande Museum, 4619 E. Washington, Phoenix, on southwest archeology and culture. 1-4:45 Sunday. 602-495-0901. Mon., Sept. 9: Rodeo Drive, the "downtown" street at Kierland is misted, making it a great place for an evening stroll while the weather's still hot. Greenway and Scottsdale Rd. Tues., Sept. 10: Every Tues., East Coast Swing lessons, 9 pm-12:30 am, Bash on Ash, 230 W. Fifth St., Tempe. $5. 480-966-8200. Wednesday, Sept. 11: Many communities will hold commemorative programs. The city of Scottsdale hosts a free panel discussion on the nation's approach to historic memorials, 7-8:30 pm, Scottsdale Center for the Arts. 480-994-ARTS. Thurs., Sept. 12: East Coast Swing classes, VFW Post #720, 4853 E. Thomas, Phoenix. 7:30 p.m. $5. 602-245-0467. Fri, Sept. 13: Every Fri., Rodders Fellowship Club classic car "Friday Night Cruise-In", parking lot, ne corner Baseline & Stapley Dr. in Mesa. Begins 6 pm. Sat., Sept. 14: 2nd & 4th Saturdays, the Phoenix Friends of Old Time Music hold a Contra Dance at the Kenilworth School, 1210 N. 5th Avenue in Phoenix, from 7:30-11 pm. Live band and caller. 480-759-2382. Sun., Sept. 15: Hold an "ice cream social." Rent a hand-cranked ice cream freezer, supply the ice and ingredients, and have friends bring their favorite toppings. Mon, Sept. 16: Why rent a movie when the library will loan you one (or several) free!? "Classic" films, including some recent ones. Tues., Sept. 17: Word-buffs meet every Tuesday night 6 p.m. for Scrabble, at the Hampton Inn, just south of Shea on Scottsdale Rd. Wed., Sept. 18: Nonsmoking coffeehouse, 7 p.m., auditorium, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs., Sept. 19: Every Thurs., bring your lunch to the library for talks about the diverse cultures in Phoenix. Noon-1. Free. First floor Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phoenix. Sponsored by the Arizona Humanities Council. Info 602-262-4636. Fri., Sept. 20 (thru Sun.): 9th annual Gila Valley Cowboy Poetry and Music Roundup, in Safford and Thatcher in southeastern Arizona. Poets, singers, story-tellers, and team roping! Info Graham County Chamber of Commerce, 888-837-1841. Sat., Sept. 21: Most Saturday nights: Centerpoint, Mill & University, downtown Tempe. 6-9 pm., live music, magicians andother entertainment. Free. 480-947-3500. Sun., Sept. 22: Adobe Mountain Railroad Museum and Desert Railroad Park, 23280 N. 43rd Ave., Phoenix. Free rides in mini-steam trains. 12-5 pm. Free (donations appreciated). 623-386-5737. Mon., Sept. 23: Nights are cooling off! Buy ice cream cones, walk in a park. Tues., Sept. 24: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, 2605 N. 15th Ave., Phoenix. 7-9:30 p.m. Free. 602-262-6412. Wed., Sept. 25: Acoustic Jam Session for amateurs. 7 p.m., large meeting room, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs., Sept. 26: Every Thurs., free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated). Til 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. 602-257-1880. Fri., Sept. 27 (thru. Sun.): Maricopa County Fall Home & Landscape Show, Az. State Fairgrounds, 19th Ave. & McDowell, Phoenix. Admission $4 (plus parking charges). Sat., Sept. 28: Football season is on and ASU has a home game against Stanford. For info on per-fame tickets for ASU sports events: www.thesundevils.com, or phone 480-965-2381. Sun., Sept. 29 (also Sat.): 27th annual Fall Festival, Pinetop-Lakeside. Includes arts and crafts exhibits, antique car show. 800-573-4031. Mon., Sept. 30: Sit outside at one of the coffee bar patios, drink iced coffee and play chess or cribbage. Late September you can see fall colors in Arizona's mountains, such as Hart Prairie Road north of Flagstaff. Fall colors spread throughout the high country in October. < > < > < > < > < > IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed!