Single Scene Newsletter 9-29-03 Issue 84 Copyright Single Scene 2003 http://www.azsinglescene.com sing-@globalcrossing.net IN THIS ISSUE: * Grief support series in Phoenix * Singles news briefs * Advice from Aunt Janet: Time for a talk? Time for a walk! * October Dating & Mingling Opportunities --------------------------------------- For help in adjusting to and even enjoying single life, visit our website at http://divorcerecovery101.com. ----------------------------------------------- Grief Support Series Mondays beginning Oct. 20 Christ Church Lutheran is offering a six week Grief Support Series Mondays beginning October 20, 7 to 9 pm. Topics include stages of grief, staying in control, coping with stress, dealing with the holidays, and learning to live again. The $25 donation covers all books and materials. The program meets in room 205 of the Christian Life Center, 3901 E. Indian School in Phoenix. For information contact the facilitator, Betty Daly, at 480-833-2265, or the church office, 602-955-4830. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< Singles News Briefs by Janet L. Jacobsen Polygraphs test lovers for lies. Some "reality" shows are using polygraphs: parents "test" their children's prospective partners, and partners run lie detector tests on each other's fidelity. An article in the East Valley Tribune (Mesa, Arizona) reports that a local polygraphy service had seen an increase in the number of calls for couples wanting a "test" over fidelity issues, but the company has decided to stay out of domestic disputes, unless the service is arranged by an attorney. Cost for a domestic polygraph test starts at $300, including pre- and post-test consultations. But the higher cost may be to the relationship. Kory Floyd, communication professor at Arizona State University points out the effect of broken trust. "Even if there really was nothing wrong ... , by raising this request and forcing your partner to take a polygraph test, you may be creating the very problem that ends the relationship." Birds "divorce" too. An eight year study by Swiss researchers has found that people aren't the only species that "divorce." About eight percent of oystercatchers, a type of shorebird, "break up." If the female is the leaver (which is most often the case), she is more likely to end up with a nest closer to food and with more surviving chicks. But females who are the leavee are more likely to end up in less desirable habitat, having to travel farther for food, which leaves their chicks more vulnerable to predators. Picture phones a threat to privacy? Candid camera may be taking on a whole new meaning. In a recent Reuters article about George Clooney, the actor said, "I've literally gone out to dinner and a girl comes over to the table and says, 'Can I have a kiss?' She leans over, gives me a kiss, I go back to the house, and the photograph is on the TV. It's hysterical." Such goings-on were one reason Clooney spent the summer staying home in his villa in Italy. Customer service: North Dakota bar holds date auction. An Associated Press story reports that 3 years ago the owners of the Wabek Bar in Plaza, North Dakota, decided there weren't enough women around for their male customers to meet and date. So they've been sponsoring an annual "bachelorette" auction ever since. Eligible women offer a date package -- dinner and a movie, for instance -- and the fellows bid. Proceeds go to charity. About 100 people attended the auction this June. Top bid was a sky-diving date, which went for $425. Marriage rate continues to decline. According to statistics from the National Vital Statistics Reports, for the 12-month period ending January 2003 the marriage rate per 1000 population was 7.9. This is a decrease from 8.1 in 2002 and 8.2 in 2001. For the same period ending January 2003 the divorce rate was 4.0 , up from the 2002 rate of 3.9, but down from 4.1 in 2001. Meet people -- volunteer Oct. 25. USA Weekend magazine sponsors its annual Make a Difference Day on Saturday, October 25. The program puts millions of volunteers together for one-day projects. For info on what you can do locally, contact 1-800-416-3824, or makeadifferenceday.com. Mixed-race families on the rise. The Christian Science Monitor reports that two trends -- increases in inter-racial marriages and in mixed-race adoptions -- are resulting in an increase of mixed-race families in America. According to 2000 census figures, 1 in 6 of the nation's 1.6 million adopted children under age 18 is a different race than their adopted parents. A Brookings Institute report says today 1 in 15 marriages is inter-racial, compared to 1 in 23 in 1990. Though the number of interracial marriages is higher in some states (15% in New Mexico) than in others (2% in Mississippi), all states have seen an increase. Two ways to lower stress. People who own pets have, on average, lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure, reduced stress, and better mental health than non-pet owners. Or you can skip owning the dog and just take two minute walks yourself, which a recent study found has a calming effect on people experiencing stress. Quotable. "If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead." Erma Bombeck. ---------------------------------------- Get timely tips on how to handle the mysteries of dating by signing up for Harlan’s dating e-newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to dating_agai-@topica.com. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Advice from Aunt Janet: Walking is good for your relationship Ah, autumn. Those beautiful trees. Great for long walks where we shuffle our feet through the fallen leaves. And that walk may be just the time for handling some “issue” in your relationship. One fellow I know says that he thinks the reason that walks work well when he and his significant other have problems to discuss is because walking side by side is not confrontational. There’s no “head to head” -- there’s no close monitoring of each other’s facial expressions and making accusations about every little grimace. Plus, if you pick the location well, the walk can reduce your stress, give you both time to think as you talk. Keep in mind too that this strategy isn’t just useful in dating relationships -- it works well with family (your kids perhaps?) and friends too. ------------------------------------------------------ October Dating & Mingling **Schedules are subject to change. When possible, always call ahead to confirm.** Get out of town! Fall colors are spreading throughout the high country, higher elevations first and moving lower as the month goes on. Wed., Oct. 1: Take your date to Siberia! Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St., auditorium, 7 pm, for a free lecture and photos on "The Wilds of Eastern Siberia." 623-930-3550. Thurs., Oct. 2: Every Thurs., East Coast Swing classes, VFW Post #720, 4853 E. Thomas, Phoenix. 7:30 p.m. $5. 602-245-0467. Fri., Oct. 3 (also Sat. & Sun.): Way Out West Oktoberfest, Tempe Town Lake, 602 N. Mill Ave. Carnival, 3 stages of entertainment, food. Free admission. 5 pm to midnight Fri. Info, 480-491-FEST. Sat., Oct. 4: African Festival, 10 am to 4 pm, Heritage & Science Park, 115 N. 6th St., Phoenix. Free. 840-998-9686. Sun., Oct. 5: Rainbow Festival, entertainment, crafts & food. Heritage & Science Park, 115 N. 6th St., Phoenix. 10 am to 5 pm. 480-998-9686. Mon., Oct. 6: What are those rocks anyway? "Geology of Phoenix Mountain Preserves" lecture, 7-9 pm, South Mtn. Environmental Education Center, 10919 S. Central, Phoenix. Free, but registration required. 602-495-0222. Tues., Oct. 7: Nearly every day (except Sundays) thru Nov. 15 the Arizona Fall League (sponsored by Major League Baseball), plays at 1:05 pm at the Scottsdale Stadium, the Peoria Sports Complex and Mesa HoHoKam Park. Admission is just $5! Walk up tickets go on sale an hour before the game. Wed., Oct. 8 (also on 15th): Family Fall Concert Series, Eldorado Park, 2311 N. Miller Rd., Scottsdale. Free. 7-8:30 p.m. 480-312-2483. Thurs., Oct. 9 (to 26th): Arizona State Fair, Fairgrounds, 19th St. & McDowell, Phoenix. Always the entertainment bargain of the year. 602-268-FAIR. Fri., Oct. 10: Every Fri., open dancing to a variety of music, 9:15 p.m. to midnight. Dance lessons 7:30-9:15. $5 Paragon Dance Center, 3029 N. Alma School, Chandler. 480-777-8877. Sat., Oct. 11: Octoberfish, 7:30-11:30 am, Encanto Park, Roadrunner Park, Cortez Park, and Cesar Chavez Park, all in Phoenix. Registered participants can fish free, without a license. Az Game & Fish will provide fishing rods, (first come, first serve). 602-261-8082. Sun., Oct. 12 (also Sat.): Railfair, 10 am to 5 pm, McCormick-Stillman Railroad Park, 7301 E. Indian Bend Rd., Scottsdale. Free admission. 480-312-2312. Mon., Oct. 13: Movie Night every Monday at Mickey's Hangover. The bar features free popcorn and a movie at 9 p.m. Mondays. 4310 N. Brown, Scottsdale. 480-425-0111. Tues., Oct. 14: Most Tuesdays, Salsa Dance lesson, Axis/Radius, 7340 E. Indian Plaza, Scottsdale. 8:30 p.m. $5. 480-970-1112. Wed., Oct. 15: Every Wed., 7-10 pm, coffee house with performers and a jam session, Encanto Park Clubhouse, Phoenix. 602-261-8993. Thurs., Oct. 16: 3rd Thurs., thru May, Tempe Historical Museum hosts a "cafe" 6:30-8:30 p.m. with the museum open to the public and a special lecture or performance at 7 p.m. 809 E. Southern, Tempe. Fri., Oct. 17 (and Sat.): Phoenix Sister Cities International Culinary Festival, Heritage & Science Park, 7th & Monroe Streets, Phoenix. 4:30-11 pm. $5. [Sat. free, 10 am to 4 pm.] 602-534-3751. Sat., Oct. 18: Incredible Edible Fall Festival, 9 am to 2 pm, Washington Adult Center, 21240 W. Citrus Way, Phx. Free entertainment. Arts & crafts, farm-grown produce. 602-262-6971. Sun., Oct. 19 (thru Nov. 16): 38th annual Cowboy Artists of America Exhibition, Phoenix Art Museum. Adm. $7. 1625 N. Central Ave., Phx. 602-257-1880. Mon., Oct. 20: Movie Monday, every Monday at My Favorite Lounge, 4809 N. 27th Ave., Phoenix. Screens cult classic films on 64" screen at 9 and 11 p.m. 602-230-4346. Tues., Oct. 21: Movie Tuesdays movie discussion series, every Tuesday, 5:30-7 p.m. Pulliam Auditorium, Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central, Phoenix. Free. 602-262-4636. Wed., Oct. 22: Wednesdays (except first Wed.), Royal Scottish Country Dancing, 7 pm, Scottsdale Senior Center, Civic Center & 2nd Ave. Free. 480-834-5662. Newcomers welcome. Thurs., Oct. 23: Readers Theatre Brown Bag Lunch Series, Heritage Square, 115 N. 6th St., Phoenix. 12:15 to 12:45 pm. Free program; bring your lunch. 480-998-9686. Fri., Oct. 24: Every Fri & Sat. thru Nov. 22 at Harkins Valley Art Theatre, 5th St. & Mill Ave., Tempe, 11 p.m., Back to School Film Fest of Movies on school themes. Tonight: "Van Wilder." $2 admission. 222-HARK #027. Sat., Oct. 25: Yuma Territorial Prison "Haunted Tours." 928-783-4771. Sun., Oct. 26: Sundays, Adobe Mountain Railroad Museum and Desert Railroad Park, 23280 N. 43rd Ave., Phoenix. Free rides in mini-steam trains. 12-5 pm. Free (donations appreciated). 623-386-5737. Mon., Oct. 27: The weather we all love has arrived! City parks are well lit; pack a picnic dinner. Or dine at any restaurant with outdoor seating. Linger over coffee. Tues., Oct. 28: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, 2605 N. 15th Ave., Phoenix. 7-9:30 p.m. Free. 602-262-6412. Wed., Oct. 29: Acoustic Jam Session for amateurs. 7 p.m., large meeting room, Glendale Public Library, 5959 W. Brown St. Free. 623-930-3537. Thurs., Oct. 30: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri., Oct. 31: Look for lots of Halloween and "alternative" activities around town. + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS, meeting people can be fun and easy ! Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You’ll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed! ------------------------------------------------- YOU CAN HELP! Our singles' Internet information, maintained solely to help newly divorced and widowed people, which means we have little budget to promote our services. Newly singled people will find out about it and get help only if readers like you (word of mouth) tell them about the sites and newsletters. Next time you attend a support group, class, seminar, singles event etc. please do both us and them a favor by recommending and telling them about these sites, newsletters, and courses. Remind them these are all totally FREE. ------------------------------------------------