and
How other singles see it
copyright 1997 by Janet L. Jacobsen
We’re zooming toward a new decade, a new century, and a new millennium — the most modern of modern times, wouldn’t you say? But are we really so "modern" in our thinking about meeting people and dating?
At a recent singles dance we invited people to fill out short questionnaires on various singles issues. One of the questionnaires focused on dating "roles."
86% of the women said, no, don’t give your number to someone you don’t want to date. (Just 5% said yes, and 9% were undecided.) None of the fellows were undecided, but 16% of them said it’s ok to give your phone number to a person you don’t want to date. (84% of the guys said no.)
Yes, said 91% of the ladies, but 9% were undecided. The men were 100% in favor of women asking men to dance.
Yes, said 64% of the ladies, but 23% said no and 14% were undecided. For the men, 100% want women to ask men for their phone numbers.
Among the women, 73% said yes, but 18% said no, and 9% were undecided. The men were 100% in favor of the woman asking for a date.
While 41% of the women said yes, 36% said no, and 23% were undecided. For the men, 89% said a woman can ask a man for a date even if she hasn’t already dated him; just 5% said no and 5% were undecided.
Among the women, 64% agreed that it’s best to date one person at a time, though 13% disagreed and 13% were undecided. The men were less sure, however. 32% were undecided, 26% said no, it’s not true that we should date on person at a time. But 42% favored "one person" dating.
Our poll would indicate that men are a lot more "liberal" about dating roles than women are; they apparently appreciate not being stuck with all the responsibility for getting a relationship going.
The irony is that when I question women about why they don’t ask men to dance or ask them out, nearly always they say, "Because men don’t like it." Wrong. Wrong. They like it; they love it.
Does that mean every man will want to date every woman who asks him? Nope. The gals face the same possibility of rejection that men face. But rest assured ladies that you won’t get a no just because you asked.