Singles Scene Newsletter 12-23-00 issue 45 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * Latest Singles News Briefs! * Advice from Aunt Janet-- Resolutions to try! * Web site of the Week -- Romantic quotes! * All Singles Dances - the last dances are scheduled! * Arizona Date Ideas for Dec. 23-Jan. 10 (Visit our web site for the complete list of January ideas: www.azsinglescene.com.) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * MERRY CHRISTMAS and a Happy Holiday Season to All Our Readers!!! ************************ New singles not necessarily swinging. Life is not quite the wild romp for the newly single as the media would like you to believe. A recent study from the University of Wisconsin polled about 3000 adults ages 18 to 59 and compared sexual experiences over the previous year across three groups: those living with partners (mostly marrieds), those living alone, and those who had experienced a relationship breakup in the past year. They found that while those who had recently gone through a breakup had the most liberal attitudes about sex, they nevertheless had an average of just 1.4 new partners in the previous year. This compares to one new partner for the average steadily single person, and an average of .7 new partners for those in live-in relationships. Which could lead us to conclude that married couples are leading wilder sexual lives than the newly single. What not to serve a date. USA Weekend magazine suggests this list of "10 Iffy Foods to Serve on a Date:" 1. Liverwurst with Limburger cheese 2. Sauerkraut 3. Pickled pigs' feet 4. Fruitcake 5. Rhubarb jelly 6. Tapioca pudding 7. Rattlesnake chili 8. Creamed spinach 9. Gelatin with marshmallows 10. Anything with lima beans. Of course, you may find someone who loves one or more of these as much as you do. Just don't chance it for a date if you don 't know. What do women want? Ok, that's the title of Mel Gibson's latest movie. But he bases his own answer on experience: "I think I've scratched the surface after 20 years of marriage. Women want chocolate and conversation." Single women buying homes. According to the National Association of Realtors, twice as many single women as single men bought houses in 1999; single women accounted for 18% of all home buyers, which translates to 1.17 million single women, up from 606,000 who bought homes in 1989. The median age of the single woman home buyer is 41, and 52% are buying their first home. Their median income is $39,700 and the median home price is $102,300. Dating as tv programming. The Hollywood Reporter says that following the success of the Universal Worldwide Television show "Blind Date," three other new relationship shows are looking for first-run syndication. "Fifth Wheel," from Universal, sends two couples out for a night on the town together, and early on adds an attractive fifth person to the mix. "Rendez View" will follow a couple on a blind date, with a panel of celebrity guests giving a running commentary. "Elimidate" is described as "Blind Date" meets "Survivor," with one person going out with four people on the same date, eliminating them one by one over the half hour. And as a logical follow-up to such sensitivity, Tribune Entertainment will be offering "Talk or Walk," called a hybrid relationship/talk show about relationships in conflict. Overeating cuts brain power. If you needed another reason to diet, here we go: the National Institute on Aging reports that research indicates that rats and mice placed on a restricted diet produced more new brain cells and generated higher levels of an important brain chemical than well-fed animals. How to defuse an argument. The advice was directed to sales people, but would work as well or better in relationships. Here are four steps to help defuse an argument: 1. Thank the person for telling you how they feel. 2. Start your half of the conversation with the phrase "Let me see if I understand you completely." Then slowly restate what you've heard. 3. Find at least one thing in the argument that you can agree with. By conceding a point or two, you show you do want to solve the problem. 4. Solve the problem. When someone picks a fight, they're saying "I have a problem." If possible and reasonable, solve the problem. Stay away from SUVs at lunch time! Progressive Auto Insurance found in a recent survey that 69% of us eat food while driving, but the figure is 74% for those who drive sport utility vehicles or mini-vans. Weddings continue to decline. The National Marriage Project at Rutgers University reports that the number of marriages has declined steadily, according to American Demographics magazine. The number of marriages per thousand single women (age 15 or older) fell from 77 in 1970 to 50 in 1996. Overall, just 58% of men and 55% of women had a spouse in 1998, down from 69% of men and 66% of women in 1960. The average age at first marriage today is 25 for women and 27 for men. Meanwhile the number of unmarried sexual partners living together has risen from 439,000 in 1960 to over 4 million in 1998. One impact of these trends is that fewer households have children. Compared to 1960, when 49% of households had at least one child in residence, today only 34% of households include children. Marriage & divorce-the latest numbers. The National Center for Health Statistics reports that for the 12 month period ending with November 1999, the marriage rate per thousand population was 8.6, down from 9.0 in 1997. And the divorce rate also dipped slightly, to 4.1 from 4.3 in 1997. So as of late in 1999 about 48% of marriages were ending in divorce. Quotable. "We joke that the definition of someone with problems is somebody who renews her Brides subscription." Consumer marketing director for Conde' Nast, the company that publishes Brides magazine. *********************** Advice from Aunt Janet-- Do you need a resolution? For lots of info and advice on New Year's Resolutions, see our January issue, or see the article at our website www.azsinglescene.com. If you're really stuck in a rut, try these! -- Smile more; smiling is especially inspiring in church, grocery stores, and while waiting in any line. --Compliment strangers. Little teeny tiny compliments are good. "Nice smile!" "Love your hair." "Cute tie." Whatever. Do not wait for a response; move on! You are getting compliment practice! --Reward yourself in some way besides food. Did a great thing at work? Behaved in a mature and civilized fashion around your ex over the holidays? Buy yourself flowers, better yet-- a corsage! Wear it proudly! ************************* Web Site of the Week Trying to think of something memorable and romantic to whisper in someone's ear on New Year's Eve? You'll find more than a dozen pages of romantic quotes at www.geocities.com/paris/metro/5293. Just be sure you credit the source! ******************** SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ---------------------------------------------- If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ALL SINGLES DANCE SCHEDULE: Next dance December 29 Scottsdale Radisson, 7171 N. Scottsdale Rd. This will be the last regular All Singles Dance! Coming up: January 26 Camelback Inn The Final All Singles Dance -- Alumni invited! Dance admission $8. See for Harlan's discussion of the decision to end the dances after 28 years. *********************** December/January Date Ideas-- Sat., Dec. 23: Most Saturday nights, Centerpoint, Mill & University, downtown Tempe. 6-9 pm., live music, magicians and other entertainment. Free. 480-947-3500. Sun., Dec. 24: Attend Christmas Eve church services. A neighborhood church with a children's pageant can be especially wonderful. Mon., Dec. 25: Christmas Day. Invite friends for dessert in the evening; play board games. Tues., Dec. 26 (thru Dec. 31): Holidays at the Heard, powwow dances, native foods, exhibits, Heard Museum, 2301 N. Central Ave., Phx. $7. 602-252-8848. Wed., Dec. 27: Trim off those holiday calories with an "exercise" date -- ice skating would suit the season, but bowling works too. Thurs., Dec. 28: Art Walk every Thurs., Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri, Dec. 29: Evening poetry reading, Changing Hands Bookstore, McClintock & Guadalupe (sw corner), Tempe. Sat., Dec. 30: MicroAge Fiesta Bowl Parade, noon, downtown Phoenix. Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-? 623-374-5794. Sun., Dec. 31: Midnight Madness Run & Walk (in costume), Rose Mofford Sports Complex, 9833 N. 25th Ave., Phoenix, 11:15 pm. Alcohol-free family event, live music; fireworks at midnight. 602-345-5752. January Date Ideas Mon., Jan 1.: Last night for Fiesta of Light City Lights display, Arizona Center, Van Buren & 3rd St., Phoenix. 602-271-4000. Tues., Jan. 2 (thru Jan. 7): Zoolights, evenings at the Phx. Zoo. Admission $6. 602-273-1341. Wed., Jan. 3: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture. $5 admi., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., Jan. 4: Art Walk, Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri., Jan. 5: 7-10 pm, downtown Phoenix becomes a moving art gallery with several art venues linked by the free DASH shuttle buses. Parking lots to meet the buses are at the Burton Barr Library, the Phoenix Center for Community Arts, and Historic First Church. Info, call Artlink at 602-256-7539. Sat. Jan. 6 (& Sun.): Gem & Mineral Show, 9 am to 5 pm, Mesa Community College, Dobson Rd. & Southern. Free parking & admission. 480-461-7008. Sun., Jan. 7: People's Pops Concert, 2001: An Orchestral Odyssey. 3-5 pm, Symphony Hall, 225 E. Adams. Free tickets available beginning Dec. 30 at all Phoenix Public Libraries. 602-262-4627. Mon., Jan. 8: Short of cash after the holidays? See a film at a discount movie theatre, or go at the "twilight" time for bargain rates. Tues., Jan. 9: Enjoy the night sky more by taking the "Winter Night Skies" class offered by Tempe Parks, 7-9 pm at the Pyle Recreation Center, in Tempe. Cost is $5. 480-350-5200. Wed., Jan. 10: 7 p.m., every Wednesday night fun skate for adults, El Dorado Park, 2311 N. Miller Rd., Scottsdale. Winds thru city. Free 480-942-4156. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It doesn't have to be an ordeal to meet people, if you know the right conversational skills. (YES, it's a commercial announcement ....) Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed! **************************