Singles Scene Newsletter 3-31-01 issue 51 sing-@primenet.com! In this issue: * Are you dating for all the wrong reasons? * Tips from Aunt Janet -- Hate dating? Group date! * Web site of the Week: Beware of health scams. * Arizona Date Ideas for April (For the best tips on getting the most from single life, visit our new web site: www.singlelifecoach.com.) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * QUIZ! Are you dating for all the wrong reasons? by Janet L. Jacobsen Is dating more burden than fun? Maybe you're going at this all wrong. Answer these questions: 1. If asked, are you embarrassed to say "I'm not dating anyone right now"? 2. Is it important to have a date Saturday night, even if you're not all that interested in the person you go out with? 3. When you aren't dating, do you feel the most important thing you can do is find another relationship? 4. If your date belittles you, do you think it's a small price to pay to have a date that night? 5. Is it common for you to date more than one person in a day? 6. Do you feel "not ok" if you're not in a relationship? 7. Do you use first dates primarily as an "interview" to see if the person would be a suitable spouse? 8. To a special company-wide event, are you likely to invite the particularly attractive person you rarely date rather than the less-stunning person you've been seeing regularly? 9. In the last several months have you gone on a date primarily to be able to tell other people (co-workers, friends, mom) that you had a date? 10. Do you "stall" someone who has suggested getting together, with the idea that if nothing better comes along, you can say yes to this one at the last minute? The more "yesses" you had, the more likely your dating life is not going well, making you happy, or leading to lasting relationships. If you date primarily for status, to boost your ego, or to please your family, then ok, keep doing what you're doing. But if you date in hopes of building lasting, quality relationships, slow down and rethink your approach. We publish articles every issue on realistic ways to improve your relationships, and you can find some in our archives files as well. *********************** ADVICE FROM AUNT JANET -- Hate dating? Group date! Dating can be a high-pressure activity: have to look your best, make a good impression, date "cool" people, etc., etc. Even if you take a more realistic approach and concentrate on just being yourself and getting to know people when you date, getting acquainted with strangers can still be a stressful situation -- especially if things aren't going well on the date! One way to make things a LOT easier, especially when you don't know the person well, is to make your first few dates "group dates." Plan activities with several friends and invite this person along. This is different than multiple couples dating, which still has many of the stresses of "dating." Hanging out with friends implies a more open time frame, not arriving or departing together, and it also lets you get feedback from your friends on their impression of the person (and later your date's impressions of your friends). Some "group date" possibilities: picnic in a park, bowling, going dancing. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< Web Site of the Week-- Beware of health scams. www.quackwatch.com There's lot of health information on the web, some of it good, some of it downright deceptive. How do you know what's what? Accessmagazine reports on the site www.quackwatch.com, but cautions that while they are a good resource for monitoring bad medical advice, they may be overly judgmental about alternative medicines. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ SHARE WITH A FRIEND-- PLEASE FORWARD THIS ISSUE ! ---------------------------------------------- If you haven't already done so, please forward this issue to your single friends and associates. Thanks so much! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * APRIL DATE IDEAS Sun., Apr. 1: Tempe Spring Festival of the Arts, downtown Tempe. Largest arts & entertainment festival in the Southwest. Free. 480-967-4877. Mon., Apr. 2: ArtSalons: Lectures and discussions with guest artists. 7-9 pm, Burton Barr Central Library, Pulliam Auditorium, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. 602-262-4636. Tues. (& Wed.), April 3-4: Free International Festival at Glendale Community College, 6000 W. Olive Ave., Glendale. Arts and crafts, entertainment, and exhibits, including the staging of three "mock" weddings: Mexican, Russian and Chinese. Info 623-845-3136. Wed., Apr. 4: Adults' Night Out, Arizona Science Center, 7th St. & Washington, Phoenix. 5:30-9 p.m. Includes a special program or lecture. $5 admi., plus $2 for giant-screen film or planetarium. 602-716-2000. Thurs., Apr 5: Every Thurs., free night at Phoenix Art Museum (donations appreciated). Til 9 p.m. 1625 N. Central. 602-257-1880. Fri. (& Sat./Sun.) April 6-8: 18th annual Phoenix Bouldering Contest, at Oak Creek Flats Camp Ground, Superior. More than 500 amateur and champion climbers from around the world to compete in climbing and rappelling skills. Entertainment, food; free admission. 480-756-1051. Sat., Apr. 7: Every Saturday, classic car exhibits 5-9 p.m. around McDonalds at the Scottsdale Pavillions, Pima & Indian Bend Roads in Scottsdale. Most Saturday nights: Centerpoint, Mill & University, downtown Tempe. 6-9 pm., live music, magicians and other entertainment. Free. 480-947-3500. Sun., April 8: Sunday on Central, Central Avenue from Osborn to Virginia, in Phoenix, sponsored by city of Phoenix. 11 am to 6 pm. Free. Food, music, entertainment. 602-534-3378. Way Out West Bird Festival, Arizona State Fairgrounds, 19th Ave. & McDowell, Phoenix. 9 am to 4 pm. Adm. $6. 602-973-9282 Monday, April 9: Ballet Arizona live on an outdoor stage, El Reposo Park, 502 E. Alta Vista Rd., Phoenix, sponsored by city of Phoenix. Free. 7:30-9 pm. 602-262-4634. Tuesday, April 10: Ballet Arizona live on an outdoor stage, Washington Adult Center, 2240 W. Citrus Way, Phoenix, sponsored by city of Phoenix. Free. 7:30-9 pm. 602-262-4634. Wednesday, April 11: Ballet Arizona live on an outdoor stage, Desert West Community Center, 6501 W. Virginia, Phoenix, sponsored by city of Phoenix. Free. 7:30-9 pm. 602-262-4634. Thursday, April 12: Ballet Arizona live on an outdoor stage, Pierce Park, 2150 N. 46th St., Phoenix, sponsored by city of Phoenix. Free. 7:30-9 pm. 602-262-4634. Friday, April 13: Ballet Arizona live on an outdoor stage, Tempe Beach Park, Tempe Town Lake, sponsored by city of Tempe. Free. 7:30-9 pm. 480-350-5287. Sat., Apr. 14: The Phoenix Friends of Old Time Music hold a Contra Dance at the Kenilworth School, 1210 N. 5th Avenue in Phoenix, from 7:30-11 pm. 480-759-2382. Sun., Apr. 15: Easter Sunday. Attend a Sunrise Service together. Mon., Apr. 16: Perfect weather for dining "out" -- at a restaurant with an outdoor patio. Tues., Apr. 17: Most Tuesdays there's a backgammon tournament at 7 pm at the George and Dragon pub, 4240 N. Central in Phoenix. Tourney entry is $10; bring your own board. 602-265-1992. Wed., Apr. 18: 7 p.m., every Wednesday night fun skate for adults, El Dorado Park, 2311 N. Miller Rd., Scottsdale. Winds thru city. Free 480-942-4156. Thurs., Apr. 19: Antique Walk, downtown Glendale. 623-435-0556. Fri. (& Sat./Sun.) April 20-22: Arizona Asia Festival, Patriots Square, Washington St. & Central Ave., sponsored by city of Phoenix. Food, art, entertainment, martial arts demonstrations. 602-788-8899. Sat. (& Fri. & Sun.), April 20-22: The 11th annual Boomtown Spree, including the State Mining Championships, takes place in Miami, (in the mountains east of Phoenix), with competitions in hand-drilling, team drilling, spike driving, and mucking. And there's a street dance Saturday night. Events are free. Info 800-804-5623. Sun., Apr. 22: Every Sunday, free admission day at the Pueblo Grande Museum, 4619 E. Washington, Phoenix, on southwest archeology and culture. 1-4:45 Sunday. 602-495-0901. Mon., Apr. 23: Meet for an ice cream cone (ok, two scoops) and a walk in the park. Tues., Apr. 24: Poetry in the Park, Encanto Park Clubhouse, Phoenix. 7:30-10 p.m. 602-261-8993. Wed., Apr. 25: Every Wed., 7-10 pm, coffee house with performers and a jam session, Encanto Park Clubhouse, PHoenix. 602-261-8993. Thurs., Apr. 26: Art Walk (every Thurs.), Scottsdale galleries, 5th Ave. area. 7-9 p.m. 480-990-3939. Fri., Apr. 27: Evening poetry reading, Changing Hands Bookstore, McClintock & Guadalupe (sw corner), Tempe. Every Fri., Rodders Fellowship Club classic car "Friday Night Cruise-In", parking lot, ne corner Baseline & Stapley Dr. in Mesa. Begins 6 pm. Sat., Apr. 28: Hogs in Heat, all-you-can-eat barbecue & dance, Rock Springs Cafe, Black Canyon City (exit 242, I-17 n. of Phx.). 4 pm-? 623-374-5794. Hassayampa River Preserve free guided tours, in Wickenburg. 8:30 am, one hour, easy hike. Call for reservations, 520-586-7072. Sun., Apr. 29: There may still be wildflowers to see. Last weekend for info on the best places around the state for flowers: Desert Botanical Garden's 24-hour Wildflower Hotline at 480-481-8134. Tempe hosts a free "Sundays at Sunset" concert series at 6:30 pm at the Beach Park, Tempe Town Lake, Sundays to May 20. 480-350-5287. Mon., Apr. 30: Take bread to feed the ducks at the park. Could be baby duckies around at this time of year. + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE AN ORDEAL TO MEET PEOPLE, if you know the right conversational skills. Improve your MEETING PEOPLE skills with the HOW TO MEET PEOPLE audiocassette by Janet Jacobsen, editor of Single Scene. You'll learn **How to overcome your fears **Three sure-fire meeting methods **Where to find interesting people **Simple, fun techniques to improve your social life NOW. To order HOW TO MEET PEOPLE, send $9.95 (first class postage & handling included) to Interpersonal Enterprises Inc. Box 6243 Dept. E Scottsdale AZ 85261-6243. Satisfaction Guaranteed! **************************