By Harlan Jacobsen
Singles are up and down - unreliable, here today, gone tomorrow,
and other descriptions. Many singles are total helter-skelter and
seem, from outward appearances, to thrive on that for a little while.
But many more suffer from severe anxiety and extreme ups and downs
of depression and happiness as a result of instability.
reach which will enrich your life and provide fulfillment.
You have been bouncing off the wall, this way and that, not sure whether you are desperately trying to get married again, or avoiding serious relationships at all costs. You are in a vacuum as to what you are doing for sure. Make a decision as to what you are trying to do! To stop drifting, and to make a decision to learn to lead a happy life appears to me to be the ideal goal for now and easy to arrive at.
Once your subconscious has accepted this goal and it is constantly repeated to yourself thru daily audible and visible repetition, your subconscious will automatically, without conscious effort on your part, come up with ideas and decisions that will put you in a much happier frame of mind. Don't worry about how or what it will do. Inspiration will hit you, out of the blue, that will lead to new happiness if followed.
Everything will then be evaluated in light of what is best for your new happier fulfilled life. "Will this action make my life happier and better or will it detract from that happiness?" You will automatically put yourself in the right places at the right times and if you follow your hunches, do whatever gives you the greatest joy in life.
Now if you want to be lonely, miserable and keep feeling sorry for yourself, bemoaning your fate, go ahead and keep giving your subconscious that kind of programming - that things are supposed to be bad - and it will see to it that you continue to be in all the wrong places doing the wrong things that will keep you miserable.
Setting goals is a long subject and hard to cover in a short article. As we have said most people spend more time planning a weekend then they do planning the rest of their life.
Figure out what it is you want to do and program yourself that way, by getting and keeping your goals in your subconscious thru spaced repetition, looking at them and repeating them out loud 3 times a day, thru Bristols mirror technique, self hypnosis, meditation, prayer or whatever other method is best for you to get thru to your subconscious goal seeking mechanism.
Your subconscious is the quarterback in your game of single life. It calls the plays but we must coach it properly so it knows what plays to call. You are a goal seeking mechanism and if you give your quarterback the right positive instructions, you will succeed in having a happy single life, if that is your goal.
If you learn to quit giving yourself confusing negative instructions along the way your quarterback will call the plays ingeniously. So much so that it will amaze even you the things you do. When you coach your subconscious with opposing negative and positive instructions it gets all tied up in knots. How your quarterback calls the shots is dependant upon your mental attitude. When you give worry, anxiety, fear, self doubt, etc. to your quarterback you paralyze his abilities to win the game of a happy single life. When you are calm and self confident and giving your quarterback (your subconscious) positive instructions, goals (the name of the game) then it functions at full peak capacity, calling all the right plays at the right time.
the thoughts and images that reach it accidentally through your neglect.
If you picture yourself as always being alone, miserable or whatever, your subconscious will see to it that you do things to keep you that way or that you will refuse to do things that will get you out of that mood. If you constantly visualize yourself as having fun, being with friends and having superb relationships, then your subconscious will soon see to it that you do the right things to put you in that position. Do not worry about the details of how you are going to develop a happy, fulfilled single life if that is your goal. Merely keep visualizing that and going over that with your self several times a day.
Do it now and save months, or even years, of being unhappy. There is absolutely no need to be miserable for a period of one or two years--which is common when a divorce occurs. It is one of the great tragedies that people suffer needlessly, simply because they do not know or refuse to do what is necessary to get themselves out of it and on to the mainline of a happy, new life of freedom.