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How to find new places to meet people to date
Originally my plan was to make this an article about a new place to meet men that I had recently discovered.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that just because an event HAS lots of men doesn't mean it's the best place for any particular single woman to MEET men.
And as I gave it still more thought, I realized that the same holds true for single men looking to meet women.
What counts
2. Where will the people be who find you attractive?
How it works
So I cut my hair short -- so short that lots of old friends didn't recognize me. And not long after that, I met a really super guy who I liked and liked me. Would he have liked me with long hair? Maybe. But he doesn't seem to have had very many long-haired women in his past.
I've known women who took up golf because they thought it was a good way to meet men. They didn't really like golf. I suspected that as soon as they thought they'd connected with an "interesting" man, they'd give up the sport.
And there's the problem. Because if the guy found her attractive in part because he thought she liked golf, he was going to be pretty disappointed when the truth came out. Even if he could overlook the non-golfer part, the deception itself is often a relationship killer.
So you have to consider both aspects: If this is an environment in which there are people you find attractive, are they also likely to be attracted to you?
Find your passion
Maybe it's possible to like an activity and not like the other people involved. Can you really like to play chess but not like most other people who play chess?
I'm not sure. Let's say it's possible. Then that means you'll have to move to the various edges of your interest and see how that affects who you meet.
For instance, you love to read and you join a library book discussion group. But it's not really your crowd.
You've still got lots of options.
Switch book groups. Switch libraries. Attend author lectures at book stores. Attend literary discussion programs at museums or universities. Take a writing class.
By thinking of where other people who like what you like are likely to be, you expand your options for meeting people who will interest you, and who may find you equally interesting.
Try something new!
I went up to one of the players between his sets and asked him about the table tennis club that was hosting the event. There were more women in the club, he said, but he acknowledged that for some reason it really mostly attracted men.
The great thing about this group was that they formed leagues where every team had an A, B, C, and D level player. So you could get started meeting people of all levels of ability just by joining the league. Cool.
But then I realized that even though table tennis is fairly easy to learn and doesn't require you to be a super-fit athlete, it wasn't necessarily going to be every woman's idea of a good time.
I guess the same thing applies to dancing. Lots of women love to dance; dances, dance classes, anything to do with dancing generally attracts a lot of women, and it baffles me why men -- who are always asking me how they can meet women -- don't get into dancing.
But hey, if they really don't like dancing, don't want to learn dancing, don't even want to be seen dancing -- they shouldn't go just to meet women.
But folks, if you think you MIGHT like it (dancing, ping pong, whatever), if you think it could maybe be fun, if you think you could learn to enjoy it, give it a try!
Sorting out the singles
Even better, you can do things to create a singles group within the group. Host a potluck for all the single members. Make an announcement to invite people to a singles event that's coming up in some other organization.
Create activities especially for the single members. I know of a Sierra Club chapter that had singles hikes which were so successful that eventually some of the married members started complaining that the "best" hikes were limited to just the singles!
Give it some thought
But if you're only there to meet someone so that you never have to go there again, you can improve your odds -- and your fun -- by giving some thought to where the kinds of people who interest you are likely to be.
And, in your experience, what are the sorts of places that people who have found you attractive are likely to be?
The intersection of those two lists is a good place to devote your meeting-people time.
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