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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Thank God for your website
Harlan,
Thank God for your website.
After being completely unproductive all day at work reading various things on your site, and spending the evening reading more, I can say that the warm fuzzies story has me feeling seriously better, if not exactly healthy yet.
While I still need time to heal, the realization that I need to start passing out warm fuzzies again has helped me realize that I have a life to return to that needs proper living, not self-pity, guilt, or shame.
My thanks,
Mitch

First date in ten years
Hi Harlan,
Well, you asked, and here it is: a warm fuzzy!
I have a lunch date tomorrow. It’s my first in many years (I was divorced ten years ago; some of us take a long time to stop “looking back”).
In preparation for this exciting adventure, I typed “dating again” into Google and came up with your site. I want to thank you so much for all the information you have put out there. It’s been so helpful to me to understand that others have gone on this path and have news and insights to share.
I also have been looking at www.divorcerecovery101.com, which has also taught me a lot about moving on, letting go, and getting out of the dang house (something I have obviously taken my time doing, but that’s okay). Funny how sitting home reading mysteries didn’t change my life!  :-)
In particular, the articles that opened my eyes were those that related to starting anew, as opposed to replaying the same past, the same role, the same attitudes that I had when I was unhappily married.
Anyway, thank you for bringing information, knowledge, and humor into the life of one newly-dating person.
Keep up the excellent work!
Lorna

Your website saved my life
Harlan:
I just had to let you know that your website has literally saved my life.  Before I knew this website existed I was in a total state of “crazy”. So crazy in fact that I attempted suicide in December, hoping I would not have to go through the pain of losing my STBX in the new year.   True...I am the one who filed for divorce after learning that my husband of 15 years and partner for 20 years had fathered a child during an affaire....True....I am also the one who had prayed to God to set me free well before I had even learned of my husband’s adultery.....True.....I had emotionally divorced my husband a LONG time ago...True....even with all of this I wasn’t prepared for the pain of actually BEING APART from him. 
I thank God for your website because I now recognize that #1 the real source of my pain is that I am addicted to our relationship and that # 2 I am not the only one going through such things and most importantly #3 Once I accept and complete my 21 day Ex Detox I will finally be able to go on to an even better life than I’d ever known before!
  A little background: we have 3 children together.....we are still friends.....our kids aged 11, 13, 15 don’t even know we’re divorcing....we always joked that even divorced we would still have sex and we have been. The last love connection on the 18th broke my 21 day detox when I had to communicate with him because our youngest needed medical attention. I must say those 17 days free from his presence were the most peaceful days I’ve had since I found out in November that he was having an affair.
  Thank You for Saving the Life of...
M.

Rough day
Harlan:
  Just wanted to tell you that I reread a lot of your mailings.  They sure help.
Today was a really rough day.
-Talked to my stbx more than I have in months in order to get the agreement done today because he’s moving tomorrow.
-Sent the last (hopefully) draft of our separation agreement to the lawyer.
-Got in trouble at ‘work’  (really just a volunteer job but I get university credit for it so it’s MORE than a volunteer job) because my stbx called me there and my boss overheard the conversation.
-Accidentally saw his lover’s job advertised in the paper so that means she’s moving with him.... until now he’s been less than honest about that.
Had to deal with way too much of my old life.....maybe tomorrow I can be in ‘new life’ again.

Ruth

Like attracts like
Harlan:
A note to say I am enjoying reading the articles you and your staff have put together. Today, I searched the web to find a positive article that would get me over a momentary hump.  This information from your website, in particular, had special meaning TODAY --
You find others by finding yourself first. When you have your act together, other “winners” will want to bask in your sunshine. Like attracts like. You have been emotionally handicapped and attract others in the same condition. You have been spinning your wheels wasting your time, searching constantly, trying to find someone who has it together to make your life meaningful. When you know and they know that you can get the most out of life on your own, then the right person for you, who has their act together too, will appear like magic.
Lynn

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